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Sad, confused, what to do first ? next >

  • GM06
  • GM06's Avatar Posted by
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  • Junior Member
05 Sep 12 #354020 by GM06
Topic started by GM06
Hi everyone / anyone reading
I dont want to bore you with details but i find myself in a situtation where through not communicating and bad financial arrangements my husband says he can no longer continue our relationship because his trust in me has gone.
I dont belive the relationship is dead and would love to work through things but he seems set on his course of action.
We have been together 5 years but married for just over 1, he has very bad mood swings and whilst he has never been physically abusive the mental side of things has been bad at times - ignoring me for days on end, doing things he knows will upset me ect. When he is "good" things between us are fantastic.
Our marrital home is in his name only however we have renovated using money from both of us and i have paid all the bills etc, He is saying its his house and he can simply sell it and I will get nothing...
Basically I have heartbroken, the doctor has given me antidepressants to help me cope. I dont know where to start and when this will all stop, I am scared.
Friends listen but they are very one sided telling me " oh you better off without him" but I cant see that yet.
Any words of wisdom / general advice would be lovely.

  • TBagpuss
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06 Sep 12 #354136 by TBagpuss
Reply from TBagpuss
OK, given the threats he is making about the house the very first thing you should do is register your matrimonial home rights, in order to protect yourself if things can''t be fixed www.landregistry.gov.uk/public/guides/public-guide-4 If you saty together this won''t disadvantag your husband in any way, so unless he is trying to avoid your claiming what you are entitled to in the event of a separation, he has no valid reason to object or to complain about this.

You may also find it helpful to contact ''Relate'' - they can see you individually if your husband is unwilling to go, and this may help you to work through some of the issues within the relationship and to cope with what is happeneing. Do consider also counselling/support more generally - www.counselling-directory.org.uk/mental.html What you have described regarding your husband''s behaviour is a descriptiopn of an emotionally abusive realtionship (and his balming of you for the remltionship breakdown and his threats regarding the house fit that pattern, too) you may find that speaking to someone with experience of domestic abuse is helpful in letting you put this in context and considering whetehr this is a relationship that you do wnat to try to save.

I suspect that your friends are right, but only you can decide what is right for you.

Good luck.

  • GM06
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06 Sep 12 #354189 by GM06
Reply from GM06
Thanks appreciate the good advice.

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