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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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Not Fair

  • Turkey09
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  • New Member
24 Sep 12 #357711 by Turkey09
Topic started by Turkey09
Why is it so difficult and messy to get divorced and why as a man do we have to suffer all costs? Not complaining happy again

  • WhiteRose
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24 Sep 12 #357716 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi Turkey,

Welcome to Wikivorce!

You''re right Divorce is a highly emotional time for the separating couple, their families and friends.

And when emotions are high its difficult to be rational or reasonable, people tend to apportion blame and perhaps lash out verbally at each other.

Its only when a couple are unable to agree on Divorce, Child(ren) contact and the finances that things can get expensive - because when people agree (and yes, there are people out there that have agreed these things between them) its straight forward.

My advice would be to allow things to calm somewhat. If you are unable to agree between you mediation is an option. (see link below)


If you need to share/vent or seek support we''re a friendly bunch (usually :lol:)


  • sexysadie
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24 Sep 12 #357717 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
I think you''ll find that men don''t actually suffer all the costs. My own divorce has cost me at least £10000 and my ex got a sizeable chunk of my pension as well as a good deal of the equity in the house. He pays child support, but nowhere near half what they cost.

Best wishes,

  • tinkerbell1606
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24 Sep 12 #357725 by tinkerbell1606
Reply from tinkerbell1606
Financially and emotionally divorce is a high cost traumatic experience.
Statistically most men recover from the divorce financially in 7 years, most women never do.
Glad to hear you''re happy again.

  • Hacked Off
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25 Sep 12 #357859 by Hacked Off
Reply from Hacked Off
Glad you said ''most women'' (never do)

My ex has now found herself a rich b*st*ard so will probably screw him over eventually.
She got a deposit for a luxury flat out of me....next stop - a villa in France?
Always onwards and upwards my ex Mrs.
Not that I''m bitter or anything, ha ha.....

  • survive
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25 Sep 12 #357861 by survive
Reply from survive
I do not feel it a fair assumption to apportion costs etc on either sex.... some men fair less and do worse... equally so do some women..... each persons case is different with different circumstances


  • cliasmol£7
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26 Sep 12 #357877 by cliasmol£7
Reply from cliasmol£7
Dear Turkey,
I am sorry to hear that you are upset.
But most of us on forum have cried so much that there are no tears left.
Who is divorcing who. personally I think that mediation is the way forward;, cheaper than court, expect H is laying through teeth about assets
With all good wishez for futurs,

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

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This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

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