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hello everyone, i`m a newbie

  • gettingdivorced101
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30 Sep 12 #358630 by gettingdivorced101
Topic started by gettingdivorced101
hello wikivorce members,

I`m currently separated from my wife of 25yrs. we have 3 children.

One is 25 married with his own kids.
One is 18 & living with his girlfriend (after being kicked out by his mom)
One has just turned 1yr old.

my head is obviously in bits.

the marriage became violent and abusive towards me and our second son about 3yrs ago.

she was bound-over by the police not to harass me or our son for a year.

My wife had counseling (so she says)and things were better for sometime, in which time we produced and gorgeous little girl.

not long after her birth, (about 3months) the abuse started to rear its ugly head again with threats and emotional abuse. no violence occurred this time.

to cut a very long story short. I handled the abuse till my daughter was 1yr old. and then she decided that me & my 18yr old son should F off out the house.....

I decided that i would leave before the violence started, and so did my son (as he has also been a victim of abuse via his mother)

now, she is on the anger path, telling everyone i have left for no good reason, and dumped her and my daughter. but she has failed to mention the abuse.

my real reason for coming to this site is to get answers to my questions which are..

1, she is refusing all contact with me and my daughter (not seen her for 1 month) what do i do?

2, she is stating she is changing the babies name. can she do this?

3, she is divorcing me on the grounds of desertion! do i bring up the abuse?

4, i imagine, she will contest everything as regards to children, properties and monies. what the hell do i do?

i do hope you can help. i feel this is going to be very expensive and very drawn out.

thanking you in advance

  • vivi36
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30 Sep 12 #358650 by vivi36
Reply from vivi36
Hello,

Welcome to wiki, I hope you will find some answers.

Are you aware of mediation services?
I think if you Google it you should be able to find a local place. They basically have a trained impartial person sit you both down.
And what about counselling? Your post is all about your ex being abusive and calling the shots. Do you actually want to end your marriage and split the home? I realise that you have done the right thing for yourself and your boy but I kind of hope that she has gone hormonal mental and that you may sort this before going down the crappy divorce route. I believe that mediation can get the whole divorce thing rolling but you 2 will be face to face instead of paying 2 go between expensive solicitors.

In answer to one question I do believe that she absolutely cannot change your daughters name without your consent. Google the question to be sure.

Good luck with it all

Xxx

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