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Read our latest Financial Settlements guide (2021)

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Milkshake

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Milkshake
Posted by
Junior Member

04 Mar 13 #382375 by Milkshake

Topic started by Milkshake

Hi, am new here and trying to find out some information. I have posted some stuff on my blog but I think I have put it in the wrong place...

dukey
Moderator

04 Mar 13 #382377 by dukey

Reply from dukey

You could just copy and paste it here?, more people will read it that way.

Lou_bee
Senior Member

04 Mar 13 #382380 by Lou_bee

Reply from Lou_bee

Hi Milkshake,
So sorry you find yourself here (but it''s good that you are - I read your blog and your friend has given you the best advice ever cuz the support network here is huge and everyone is so so helpful).
Sorry I can''t offer any advice on your situation but I''ll send you a virtual hug instead ((hug))

Milkshake
Posted by
Junior Member

04 Mar 13 #382383 by Milkshake

Reply from Milkshake

Thanks Dukey, tried but cannot copy and paste it...hi all the same

rubytuesday
Moderator

04 Mar 13 #382387 by rubytuesday

Reply from rubytuesday

This is Milkshake''s blog:

Hi, I am Milkshake, I am a 45 year old woman. I have 2 children and 2 step children. My eldest child has cystic fibrosis and is 16 and spends alot of time in hospital. She also has physchological issues and no longer goes to school; I did join here briefly last year and had a couple of posts but things have moved on since then...

I have been married for 17 years this month but have known my STBX for 20 years. My STBX is a very controlling and our time has a history of abuse from him to me and the children at times. He is also an alcoholic/binge drinker.

He owns his own company which has been quite successful, for about the last 9 years. He employs around 10 to 15 people.

For the second time, I have asked him to move out of the family home because of his behaviours. He has a flat that costs the same as the family home where me and the girls live. He has been on dating websites for over a year whilst trying to win me back and control me. He is presently in a relationship (8 weeks!) and seems to be trying to reduce mine and childrens expenditure to spend on the new version.

I have had police involvement, am registered with the domestic abuse unit, but at present, he can come and go from the family home as he pleases and still expect me to go to his office where I have been employed on a part time basis.

Sadly, I can''t work full time as I did when we were first together due to the frequent hospital visits for my child. therefore, I am totally financially dependant upon STBX.

I am fully aware that his present actions mean that he will want to relocate me and children to a much smaller home and change my car and lifestyle...he is also very unreliable and selfish about access (at a push once a week and to suit him and his new life).

I really need to know how can I prove my worth in his business? How do I set about trying to prove his and mine income and how ddo I work out what I might be entitled to??? I am very confused and am under treatment for depression.

Thank you, I have heard really good stuff about this site from a good friend who was on here a couple of years ago and said you were all just the best...hoping you can help me know more

Milkshake

Shezi
Moderator

04 Mar 13 #382397 by Shezi

Reply from Shezi

Welcome to Wikivorce, Milkshake. Coming here is the first in a long line of positive steps you will eventually take to reclaim your life. Divorce is generally a messy business no matter what the backstory and accepting that we need help is a good start to moving on. It seems clear to me that you no longer wish to remain married to your stbx and, the way you describe his behaviour, that''s probably the healthiest decision for your future you could make.

There are lots of people here who are extremely supportive, who have years of experience, who have expertise in the field. Don''t be afraid to ask specific questions about specific issues - this community is very good at answering any questions you may have. If you feel you want a more immediate response, pop into our chatroom - everyone will make you comfortable. We also have an online magazine that you can find on one of the tabs along the top - there are many articles in there about people''s experiences and something might just click for you.

The forum here is probably the best place to ask for legal and practical advice and it''s where you will find our legal experts. But blog away, when I first came here (nearly 5 years ago!) I''d never blogged in my life but did so 2 or 3 times - it''s an incredibly cathartic process and the support from other members helps you to realise you are not alone. Trust me, we''ve all been there or still there.... thousands of us. Let us share the best of our experience with you so that something good can come out of this ugly business.

Take care

Shezi

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