I got home from a holiday with my best friend to find my husband and his family had removed half the contents of the home in my absence and took it who knows where, because he wont say where he lives. He took all the best stuff. He left all the rubbish and now claims he left me the same as he took. He says he drunk a £4000.00 bottle of investment Whisky that we bought a few years back. reckons he drunk it before he left, which is a lie. He is lying a lot to his solicitor, and the letters his solicitor sends are very 'abrasive'. I thought family lawyers were supposed to ease the journey not inflame it. I know he did this to his previous wife too.
My questions are;
1. Should he be accountable for removing joint chattels with no agreement?
2. He demands his family are not implicated but there are witnesses - Can they be held accountable?
3. Why would he not say where he lives? Hiding what?
4. What do you do about assets (the Whisky), where you know he didn't do what he said?
5. Can you pull another Solicitor up for abrasive letters?
6. If I have paperwork to prove he has done all this before, can I use it in any way?
4. How do you get your fair share out of the divorce when hes taken lots of stuff already?
My partners ex has hidden things, denying all knowledge of their whereabouts so you have my sympathy. Its so difficult to do anything about chattels without absolute proof because the court is more concerned with the bigger assets such as the house and pension. so concentrate on these and make sure you get a fair share and hopefully start afresh rather than throw more good money sending letters and getting nothing back in return.
Do you have a solicitor acting for you? If your ex is doing things to upset you, such as turning up to the fmh unannounced, then this could be addressed with a letter, asking that he does not turn up unannounced as you are entitled to privacy, again it all starts adding up cost wise.
I have been supporting my partner for 3 years through divorce/financial settlement and I would advise that you concentrate on getting the best deal possible for house and pensions, savings and debts and look forward to a fresh start.
Thank you for your reply. You have sadly confirmed my gut instinct.
I am getting the idea that people can behave horrendously, and it is of little or no interest when trying to get the divorce sorted fairly.
We live and learn.
Yes, I have a solicitor, and I have one more question for anyone who may be knowledgeable regards pensions.
My solicitor said that putting in for a share of a pension is not always worthwhile, but I know my ex has been paying at least £300 a month into a pension scheme for at least 20 years.
I don't have a pension scheme, other than the Government one which started a few years ago, so I would hope this would be worth asking about?
I have been reading about pension sharing for the past year and only now is it making sense!
Starting with getting a cetv done initially it depends on various factors such as how much the pension is worth, your ages, the type of pension even loss of any spousal benefits to decide whether it is worth doing an actuary report.
You can also offset against house equity if you need so you keep a bigger share of the property and he keeps all or a bigger share of his pension.
Type in pensions in the search bar on here and have a read.
Pension sharing has been enshrined in law since the turn of the century.
It is only if pensions are pretty small that a pension share may not be considered worthwhile. In that case they may be offset against a greater share of the cash assets.
You need to know the CEV of the pension before deciding anything. The type of pension and your ages is also relevant. If he has been paying in £300/month to a work pension, there will have been employer contributions as well. If it is a personal pension there may be additional benefits from tax relief.
If you have to incur costs to replace essential items, you can ask for this to be factored in to any settlement. You can also ask for items of particular value to be set against his side of the settlement if he has kept or disposed of them.
It is impossible to advise effectively without a fuller picture of your financial circumstances. Do bear in mind that if you are represented, it can cost more to argue about things than they are actually worth.