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  • cerberus
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2 months 3 weeks ago #513531 by cerberus
Hello (introduction) was created by cerberus
I found this site after searching for some information and thought it would be worthwhile introducing myself as I'm likely to be fairly active on here... here goes..

I'm currently going through a divorce - although, it is somewhat stalling and my wife is constantly stalling and delaying at every possible opportunity.. a bit of background as to how we got here in the first place:

My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in Mar 2019. I had supported her throughout this and prior to the official diagnosis coming out - this included taking time off my work to take her to all of her consultations and to talk through various options and research these online etc. Basically, just trying to be there for her and support her during a difficult time. However, I then discovered that she had been having an affair with one of her co-workers. This had only started in Feb 2019 but had continued throughout. I guess the thing that hurt me the most was reading her messages where she had said that she wished he was there with her (when I'm literally in the next room at the hospital!).

I then took the very difficult decision that there was no other option than divorce - the only hesitation I had was due to the fact that we have an 8 year old son - who is the absolute best thing in my life - and having grown up in a situation where my parents divorced when I was young - I would have done anything to avoid putting him through this - but there really wasn't any other realistic option. So I left the marital home and consulted a solicitor - my official date of separation is 29th March 2019. We have shared parenting of my son (week about) and he resides in the marital home full time - with myself and my wife alternating each week.

Legal proceedings have been extremely slow and she has basically tried to stall at every possible opportunity. She is still in a relationship with her co-worker and they co-habit at another address when they're not at the marital home and I really just want to get everything done and dusted and move on - but I have a feeling that I'll still be here in 3/4 years time!!.. She has returned to her work full time and they both earn above average salary - however, she keeps on using her 'cancer' as an excuse for everything and to stall/delay things. This is VERY frustrating and stressful - especially when I'm still paying 70% of the mortgage and all bills!

Her solicitor is pretty poor as well - he seems to be more interested in spinning out billable hours and stalling and delaying things as opposed to trying to get things resolved. I'm happy with my solicitors as they are factual, direct and generally on point - but I think they feel the same frustrations as myself. The money involved makes litigating almost pointless (I'm likely to be worse off) as the balance of assets means it's financially prohibitive to take to court. I'm just really not sure what options (if any there are) - It seems I'm just in limbo hoping that she will somehow want to resolve things.. I seem pretty powerless in it all and don't really have a lot of options.

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