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36 Years and out

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27 Aug 21 #517559 by Startingagainlol
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Hi, I am the process of divorcing my husband after 36 years or marriage, having been with him since we were 18. He wanted the divorce, I didn’t but hey that’s life. Struggling to cope and have moved in with my sister whilst waiting for the finances to be sorted. We have two grown up children and I am currently not in contact with them due to the situation, I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel but not feeling overly optimistic about this. This was supposed to be the time we did the things we couldn’t do when we were younger, now I have been replaced by 30 year old girls and feel totally worthless. I hope there are people who can give me some hope that things get better.

  • B1968
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27 Aug 21 #517562 by B1968
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Hi
I was with my wife 32yrs since I was 15yr old
She went 5yrs ago next month and I'm now looking at divorce, lucky I did disclosure to buy her out and I had to remortgage end of 2017 but its my house now fully furnished so it could have been worse
so yes it rips your world upside down and splits the family.
Not sleeping stressed etc been there not good 😐
But time is the secret
Learn to be yourself again and what you want from life
I now have a partner we are good but still causes problems with my children.
My children are all grown up but daughter 28yr old won't accept it
Youngest 24 lives with the ex he,s like a spy when comes and stays and the oldest 30yr old just stays out of it
But hear stories where all get on .
Take a deep breath and take time out to look at what you want from it all.
It took me 3yrs to sort my head out I was fighting with the world you need to get on with it .I see things now I didn't see before .
Hope you can relax soon as the mind is the worse enemy.

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27 Aug 21 #517563 by B1968
Reply from B1968
Hi
I was with my wife 32yrs since I was 15yr old
She went 5yrs ago next month and I'm now looking at divorce, lucky I did disclosure to buy her out and I had to remortgage end of 2017 but its my house now fully furnished so it could have been worse
so yes it rips your world upside down and splits the family.
Not sleeping stressed etc been there not good 😐
But time is the secret
Learn to be yourself again and what you want from life
I now have a partner we are good but still causes problems with my children.
My children are all grown up but daughter 28yr old won't accept it
Youngest 24 lives with the ex he,s like a spy when comes and stays and the oldest 30yr old just stays out of it
But hear stories where all get on .
Take a deep breath and take time out to look at what you want from it all.
It took me 3yrs to sort my head out I was fighting with the world you need to get on with it .I see things now I didn't see before .
Hope you can relax soon as the mind is the worse enemy.

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27 Aug 21 #517564 by Startingagainlol
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Many thanks for your reply. I am getting a little better each day, I think it is getting used to the new reality. I am glad things are getting better for you, it is difficult for children, regardless of age, when a family unit gets shattered. Enjoy your new life, things get sorted eventually whether we like it or not.

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27 Aug 21 #517565 by B1968
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Hi
I think once you get finances and a home sorted out etc you will be able settle down can't be nice living out of your own home and not by choice either .
Stay strong and positive
It will get better .

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28 Aug 21 #517566 by Startingagainlol
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Yes you are right, it is very difficult not having my own place after so many years and even more upsetting when he is going to a brand new home and then has the cheek to say that I am ruining his future. Until the pension is sorted I can’t really look at moving as I truly do not know. my monthly income. I do not even recognise my soon to be ex any more, he has become spiteful and selfish, three are never before seeing traits but I guess you never can tell…..

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05 Sep 21 #517631 by Djsmith
Reply from Djsmith
Thank you for that I'm 18 months in and still going over in my head yes with x for 20+ years 2 children 17/13 been turned against me feel as if the world is on my shoulder but your words to the wise give us all hope

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