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Hi just separated and starting divorce

  • Stuart123
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15 May 22 - 15 May 22 #519311 by Stuart123
Topic started by Stuart123
Hi I have been married for 32 years my wife has used me as her personal money tree for the last 15 years despite working herself, not once has she helped to pay a single bill or joint expenses holidays ext. we have a joint account that she frequently takes money from without contributing or without any consideration for any upcoming household expenses. I have spoken to her about this and she did reduce the amount she took for a short while. but I have since found out She has taken out loans without my knowledge, borrowed from our children and her parents. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I found some birthday cards from my mother hidden in a bag, my mother had given these cards to her for safe keep to give to our children and gran children, the cards did contain money which she had taken. When I asked her where the money from the cards had gone, she claimed she put it in her bank account for safe keeping, and would put it in the cards when their birthday come around. I asked why she did not feel it was safe hidden in the house, or why did she not put it in the joint account, and why the empty cards were hidden out of sight, or why she did not tell me she had done this, but she just shouted at me without an explanation and said we were over. I asked to see her bank statement so I could see that the money was still in her bank but she refused.
my wife has horses that she can’t afford, she spends all her earnings on them and some of my earnings, I have struggled for years and tried so hard and hoped she would realise and stem her spending habits, but it’s got worse, 😭she never spends any time with me, I am alone and ignored all the time, she speaks badly of me to others and nothing in the bedroom, I feel fearful when asking for her to financial contribute as she starts shouting and makes it my fault some how and that I should pay for everything. Along side my wage although I work part time due to health problems I receive a army Pension which is paid due to army retirement as a result of a medical discharge, she feels that she is entitled to this as she supported me whilst I served, although I don’t dispute this she still feels she does not have to contribute to anything as she is entitled to my army Pension despite not being at retirement age. I have to continue to work despite my health as I would not have any money for myself nor would I have been able to pay the mortgage or bills. I have worked hard to pay the mortgage off but continue to pay all the bills and household expenses. I should of split a long time ago but I was in hope things would change. The divorce is submitted or will be tomorrow as no fault as it is the only option now, it the financial bit I will struggle with as I stem to loose half of everything that I have worked so hard for and solely paid for everything. I do have savings that she knows I have but doesn’t know how much but she has tried to gain access too this. The last time I had saved she gave me hell over them and said I was saving to leave her, because it got so bad I spent the saving on a car for her which she distorted within two years and a caravan for the family and I started saving again.
It appears that I will have to help pay her debts off that I did not know about or benefit from any of that money or any of her income, She will walk away with a smile with half not if more of everything and I will have to start all over again. It just feels unfair no love I feel like I have been taken for a mug and robbed in broad daylight 😭😔
Last edit: 15 May 22 by Stuart123.

  • Somethingnice
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02 Jun 22 #519401 by Somethingnice
Reply from Somethingnice
Good evening Stuart,
I really sympathise with you!
You sound like a lovely man, who did not deserve to be treated and used in this way.
There are too many “entitled” people in this world, who are totally self centred and absorbed in their own self importance.
Unfortunately your kind nature and trust has been abused.
I despise this type of person.
Thank goodness you are out of it now.
You will survive this!
Think of yourself now and DO NOT give her the time of day, she does not deserve your energy.
Good luck my friend.😊

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