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Ebay listing...

  • rubytuesday
  • rubytuesday's Avatar Posted by
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24 Sep 11 #289218 by rubytuesday
Topic started by rubytuesday
A rather unusual item description for this ebay listing for a satnav...

You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little P***s, and it cost me over £400...
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...
I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil D*ck Nigel's house...

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...
Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...

As an after thought...
There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

Good Luck

Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...

On 24-Sep-11 at 10:56:51 BST, seller added the following information:
Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning!!!!

Saturday 24 Septenber 2001

Hi everyone...

Well what can I say !!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you all doesn't even come close....

eBay have flagged this listing as contrary to their policies !
Although they have not removed it... they with-hold the right to do so...

eBay doesn't allow the use of profanity or vulgar language on the site. This includes language that is racist, hateful, sexual or obscene in nature
If the profane words are part of a title for the item being sold, we allow sellers to 'blurb' out the bulk of the offending word with asterisks (i.e., s*** or f***)

Please Please Please bear this in mind....with your messages

Any messages that are contrary to eBay's policies cannot therefore be listed
As this might cause the listing to be removed


I am trying to answer all your messages but they arrive faster than I can write....

Thanks Again to everyone


  • ldg
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25 Sep 11 #289397 by ldg
Reply from ldg

  • sun flower
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26 Sep 11 #289406 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Just loved it! Bet he gets a date out of it too from some female trying to make him feel better!¬

  • lovestinks
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06 Oct 11 #291059 by lovestinks
Reply from lovestinks
ROFL :)I'd take him on a date any day, love a sense of humour! Go with that revenge is what I say! ROFL again.

  • gingerandrews
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12 Nov 11 #297622 by gingerandrews
Reply from gingerandrews
I had as Nigel once with the same ED issues. And it was my fault apparently which is why he use to have to hurt me to make it work! go figure, at least I am pain free now.:S
Maybe she was visiting mine.

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