I've been reading a lot of maudlin posts about Xmas and divorce.
Just before I finish downing my bottle of Baileys and jump on the sleigh to distribute all the pressies tonight.
I thought I'd better distribute some xmas cheer amongst all you super saddos out there.
There are many pros to no longer having to be with a cheating spouse right about now.
No1 they probably would right about now be just texting their lover in the other room.
No2 Right about now they would definately have had sex with the other person this week.
No3Right about now they'd probably be acting like an rse anyway as they weren't seeing their lover.
No4 Right about now they wouldn't have wanted to be with you anyway.
No5 You don't have to put up with their side of the family anymore who nearly always are fecking irritating.
No6 Think of the financial advantage of not buying a pressie this year for someone who's cheated on you.
No7 You can do whatever you want without the shxt they're gonna give you because they don't want to be there anyway.
So Wiki Santa has no rose tinted specs on his sleigh this xmas they are banned.
Crack open a bottle of Bubbly get as pxssed as you want and raise a glass to the fact that you may be on your own but on the plus side at least you ain't having to spend it with a cheating rsehole!!
HRH aka Santa
You are totally right. I've just been moaned at for not getting the kids to ring him when he asked me to. Well we've been out having the fun we were never allowed to when he was with us, the kids were shattered and never say anything on the phone anyway. The phone call was purely for him, not for them. He'll see them tomorrow.
It feels so odd being on my own after nearly 12 years, but I'm doing ok.
Hope everyone has a marvellous Christmas and a very happy 2012.
I'll raise a glass to that! (Just had my first sherry).
BTW, we don't have a chimney but there's a way in to the house via the garage - you can leave the pressies just inside the french doors (which aren't even french). There you'll find a mince pie (you're probably sick of the blighters by now) and half a pint of Baileys.
Granddaughter and me have already left a carrot, bowl of water for Rudolf, mince pie and a beer for Santa. I did suggest Sherry but she wanted to leave a glass of water so the beer was a compromise - sorry it's not Baileys. I had organised a gingerbread man hunt for the morning as we're not opening presents until after her Mummy gets back from work early pm, but she says she wants a Reindeer poo hunt! Please don't allow Rudolf to go too crazy!
Happy Christmas to all you lovely Wiki people. I don't know how I would have got this far without you.
HrH thank you for spreading you own style of xmas fairy dust as you travel round the wiki - ites on your sleigh - please give jj some spanners to sort his plumbing - and the rest of us the grace to see something good in the day. sc