The new man

A husband had just finished reading an empowering book called "You can BE the MAN of your home". Finding courage inside him that he never knew he had, the following day he stormed into the kitchen and loudly announced to his wife -

"From now on, you need to know that I am the man of the house and my word is the LAW. Tonight, you will prepare a gourmet meal and you will bring it to me, and afterwards when I am done eating you will make me a scrumptious dessert of my choice. After dinner, we will go upstairs and we will do whatever I want, MY way. Afterwards, you will draw me a bath so I can relax. You will put on my favorite soothing music, you will wash me and then towel me dry. You will then bring me my robe. Then you will happily spend hours massaging away all my tension so that I can sleep like a baby. And then, tomorrow, who do you think is going to dress me and style my hair?"

The wife disdainfully replied, "Well, the funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have your lazy a@@ creamated."

Thanks for this, it gave me a good laugh just when I needed it