A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Help: topical jokes required!

  • thescientist
  • thescientist's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
22 Mar 12 #319449 by thescientist
Reply from thescientist
my favorite two jokes at the moment are:

"I used to be indecisive, but now Im not so sure..."


and


"I''m a good housekeeper. Whenever I get a divorce, I keep the house"

  • WhiteRose
  • WhiteRose's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
22 Mar 12 #319461 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Great!! Fantastic idea!

How about something along the lines of:

"Now I''m divorced I''ve been working my through the range of Frozen Food meals - strange they say ''Defrost'' as a serving suggestion!"

"Now I''m separated I can Sky Plus all MY favourite TV shows - I now have Top Gear on Series link and don''t need to sit through BGT, Dancing on Ice, Strictly etc."

"Now I''m Separated - I think I''ve gone deaf!!!"

"Was in the wine isle in the Supermarket the other day and this chap was picking out a few Reds on offer, he turned to me and said ''Wine for the wife'' I said ''Seems like a good swap''

"Now I''m divorced I don''t separate colours from whites in the wash, I chuck em all in together - wow I now have some interesting coloured clothes!"

WR x ;)

  • jjones123
  • jjones123's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
22 Mar 12 #319466 by jjones123
Reply from jjones123
Many thanks to all for your wonderful ideas and suggestions.

The workshop is on Saturday and I''ve been asked to come with some material.

WR: I''ve got to admit that some of my clothes are now strangely coloured, but that''s okay. When I was married I did ask about what ''the rules'' were for whites and coloured and I could never figure it out. Each time I asked they were different! Each time there was a big huff where she said, ''I''ll do it myself!!'' Ahh... no more stress, just grey shirts - which is fine. It''s a colour that suits me.

Haway: if you''re interested, there''s a standup competition that isn''t to far from your manor. It''s a good night out.

JJ

  • WhiteRose
  • WhiteRose's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
22 Mar 12 #319473 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
:laugh:I too have clothes that are ''White with hint of Sludge'' colour - the positives are I''m co-ordinated head to toe - socks, underwear, tops :laugh:

Good luck for sat & let us know how it went!

WR x

  • jjones123
  • jjones123's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
30 Mar 12 #320924 by jjones123
Reply from jjones123
News is that I''ve signed up for a 6 week stand up course which ends with a public gig (gulp!) What on earth have I done...

Here''s a gag: I used to do mother in law jokes, but I can''t anymore...

I''ve just discovered this YouTube video which raised a wry smile:
" class="bbcode_url" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="">


JJ
x

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11