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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)

  • WhiteRose
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26 Sep 12 #357949 by WhiteRose
Topic started by WhiteRose
I received this in my inbox this morning and it made me chuckle - on this miserable day, I thought a bit of light hearted, tongue-in-cheek, humour may also cheer you up.

*Please don''t read if you''re easily offended*

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it''s worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What''s the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What''s the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What''s the fastest way to a man''s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What''s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
''Are you sure it''s mine?''

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don''t have eyes.

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26 Sep 12 #357971 by Action
Reply from Action
thank you for making me laugh out loud. I liked the dog chasing cars one the best.

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26 Sep 12 #357985 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Thanks for the laugh - I liked the way to man''s heart one! From a psychotic sc!

  • Elphie
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26 Sep 12 #357993 by Elphie
Reply from Elphie
:laugh:loved the one about kind, sensitive, good looking men all have boyfriends!

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