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The rules men live by.

  • dukey
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06 Mar 13 #382816 by dukey
Topic started by dukey
MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys'' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT''S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR ''THE RULES'' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU''RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT''S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON''T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT''S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU''RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON''T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY ''NOTHING,'' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING''S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON''T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON''T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON''T ASK US WHAT WE''RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON''T MIND THAT? IT''S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

  • claireannette
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06 Mar 13 #382835 by claireannette
Reply from claireannette
love this! I saw it on FB the other day, to be fair as a woman I do kind of agree... we do make a fuss sometimes lol Probably going to get it in the ear for that but my new man is never happier camped out on the sofa with a playstation remote... and why bloody not I say! x

  • dukey
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06 Mar 13 #382837 by dukey
Reply from dukey
For some reason my other half sent it to me :huh:

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06 Mar 13 #382839 by claireannette
Reply from claireannette
At least your talks to you lol

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06 Mar 13 #382844 by blue_
Reply from blue_
Thats great :)

Let''s face it men and women are wired completely differently..

We should all just accept that is how it is;)

  • fairylandtime
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06 Mar 13 #382867 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
LOL Dukey

Agree with all

JJx

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06 Mar 13 #382919 by .Charles
Reply from .Charles
Will get back to you once I''ve read the post - just waiting for my authority to come through..

C

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