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Update on non contact with the ex harridan!!

  • hawaythelads
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23 Nov 13 #414432 by hawaythelads
Topic started by hawaythelads
I posted a blog at the start of November how I had made the decision not to try not to have any further contact with the ex harridan.
This was due to these factors in summation.
1. I had just hit 44 and met the harridan aged 22 half a life putting up with her xxxx was long enough.
2. If anyone else had conned £300k out of me I''d doubt they''d be breathing.... let alone talking to me.
3.I was disgusted that to cover up her abuse and neglect of her own daughter she had sold her down the river to save her ass and made my daughter out to be a juvenile delinquent the christian fundamentalist social services woman who seemed to have a limited grasp of the english language certainly orally in my experience bought it hook line and sinker.
4.Bazza and her contrived that he move out on October 5th the day new benefits laws came in that you couldn''t claim child benefit if you lived with anyone earning over £50k. He now rents a flat and stays over there still 5 nights a week courtesy of the £900 extra she''s picking up off the govt as a single parent.
5. on top of all this once she had her fixed up social services report proving it wasn''t her fault but my daughters she then as the true psychopath that she is had the gall to blame it all on me and accuse me of putting my daughter up to reporting her.(Which I hadn''t.I had tried to actually stop her as I knew the xxxx would act her way out of it) and then call me a twister and a liar.

At which point I told her she was a truely psychopathic xxxx who was a xxxx mother who is neglects her children has left them home alone for seven years as she pursues her social life at all costs down the pub.Invests no time or care or love in them.
The accusation of lying is more than pot kettle, you should take up lieing as a profession with your adultery as the starters for ten and now the ultimate because you can''t control your neglect or your psychopathic control freak behaviour and loss of temper that escalates to physical abuse on regular occassions, you throw your own daughter under the bus to social services.
Now I''ve had you in my life 22 years and you''ve cost me the best part of £1million courtesy of having two kids with me and the UK divorce laws now I''m done with you, I''m having no more to do with you and your lies and decit so FXXK OFF.

After which I had some last word text about how she couldn''t believe how I don''t care have no interest in the kids.

I ignored this and took the decision the next day to just block her on the mobile.
She can text but calls go straight to ansaphone.

I suppose it''s been three weeks and I have the kids over one night a week.
Well since her fake break up with Bazza I noticed that a wednesday night was her preferred night for me to have the kids.
However after a couple of these I noticed my son is knackered from College on a wednesday.Thursday he doesn''t attend college so isn''t.
My daughter has to leave earlier for school from mine so being a bit tired on a Friday which starts with home economics I think works out better as well.
Also I now work for someone and can''t leave early on a Thursday she plays hockey after school until 6pm which coincides with the time I''m about to pick her up.
So without consulting her the last 3 weeks I''ve arranged it to see the kids on a Thursday with them.Remember the kids that are home alone most nights.
There was never any contact orders or any of that shxt in place anyway.
It so happens I go home via a station near the free house I gave away and on Wednesday the night the harridan is itching for me to do I bumped into my daughter hanging around with her mates and we went in the pub for a coke and a pint a coke for me a pint for her ;)
My daughter said I''ll tell Mum I said no you ain''t due home yet if you do that she''ll tell you to get home straight away and start trying to lecture me.Remember she did it before.I asked what time she''s due home and it''s 6.30pm.
Sure enough we have our drink 5.50 to 6.15 and as we are leaving it rings.Now my daughter stupidly says I''m just with Dad and I''m on my way home. At which point the psycho xxxx launches into her rant at her about her dinner being on the table, remember she''s 15 mins early and also the harridan leaves her a dinner out to be warmed up in microwave on numerous occassions.
Of course she asks to speak to me. She starts off in that hostile school marmy way and I get her dinners on the table lie sxxt and I thought you couldn''t do Wednesday nights it would suit me better if you did Wednesdays, Thursdays aren''t really convenient or will you being doing Thursdays all the time.
I replied Ruby''s on her way home by 6.30 as you agreed and as for the night I see the kids in the week that''s flexible depending on all our arrangements and its not really any of your business.
Now I told you three weeks I''m done talking to you. Pass the phone back to my daughter and say bye kid your mother wants you home.Give her a kiss off she toddles.
Again I''m now raving angry at the fact that this thing is so predictable in how nasty, spiteful and vicious it always behaves.I knew it would tell my daughter to come straight home once she knew she was with me I''d already built that in to the equation sure enough it did.
I decided to stay in the pub and drink another 8 pints of Guiness to keep the first one company and scare the life out of my murder squad detective mate when recounting the tale that if he ever did find the harridan with an axe through her head it would indeed be the easiest collar of his career ;)Joking......I think:blink:

  • hawaythelads
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23 Nov 13 #414441 by hawaythelads
Reply from hawaythelads
This is like War and Peace this post.
So the next morning, I receive a text from the harridan, obviously resented being told I ain''t talking to it and none of her business.
Now bit of insight she loves to organise her social diary well in advance this is her motivation.
I quote her text
"Can you confirm by email or text.
What the arrangements are for the children seeing u during the week?
If any weekend visits have been planned.What dates are you seeing them?
Christmas arrangements and there had been talk of a summer holiday next year as I don''t want arrangements clashing with any other plans they may have.
I don''t expect the children to act as messengers between the two parents."

Now I will admit my gut preferred response would have been "FECK OFF CONTROL FREAK"
Then I thought about not replying at all as why should I be drawn into her agenda .
But in the end responded thus.

"The week nights - I am around Monday to Thursday at a convenient night for both them and me.
Weekends - I have told them if they want to come over let me know. But they have both evolved into having a lot on.Not a problem.
Xmas - I am coming down on the 27th. Probably a meal at my Mum''s that they are invited to obviously if they want to come.
Next Summer - I doubt if I can afford to take them on holiday anyway.So,no plans.
I hope this clarifies a few things for you."

Amazingly I haven''t heard back nbecause I''ve kept that far too vague for her liking.
She really doesn''t have a clue that they ain''t commodities that you can compartmentalise around your social life either and that arrangements are fluid because they have their own lives.

All the best

  • emeraldbutterfly
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23 Nov 13 #414443 by emeraldbutterfly
Reply from emeraldbutterfly
Morning hawaythelads,
Just finished war and peace,it certainly is a complex and involved plot.
Thought I was looking at the wrong heading section and then realised that in the nearly two weeks I''ve been on this site every time I''ve read on of your post I have indeed smiled or laughed out loud:lol:

Keep up the good work

And as we know your always :cheer:right.

  • hawaythelads
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23 Nov 13 #414451 by hawaythelads
Reply from hawaythelads
At all times always remember.
It''s all..... always..... a fecking joke!
All the best
HRH x ;):blink:

  • Shoegirl
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24 Nov 13 #414516 by Shoegirl
Reply from Shoegirl
She really doesn''t want to let things drop does she?

Your kids are teenagers. Making arrangements with them direct is hardly using them as messengers between parents.

I think your stance of not communicating with her is correct. She isn''t ever going to be reasonable. You have become a unwilling participant in her ridiculous power game.

I''d carry on as you were. If you get the phone passed to you again, I would say you aren''t wiling to get drawn into all of this and the children are now of an age where they are capable of communicating their plans. Then I would put the phone down.

As you said 22 years of this is enough. Clearly it isn''t for her, she will always find a reason to try and control things. So, it''s down to you to cut her off. Think this is where your at anyways.

She is a nasty piece of work that''s for sure.

  • pixy
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24 Nov 13 #414526 by pixy
Reply from pixy
I''m quite sure refusing to talk direct is the right thing to do under the circumstances. Otherwise as Shoes says you are enabling her to play silly games.

But the sums don''t add up. She gets £900 extra through bazza moving out? That''s less than I pay a month in rent, so as a couple they are actually worse off. Maybe her and bazza are no longer an item.

  • Nigella19
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24 Nov 13 #414528 by Nigella19
Reply from Nigella19
Lord !

The woman is a nightmare. Having had Mr Nightmare in my life for far too long, and now my son is a teen my life gets easier and easier. Purely because I told Nightmare a year ago I would not be communicating with him direct. What Shoes says is correct in my book.

I wouldn''t mind betting what''s going on with Bazza is being taken out on you and the kids. Do people who want to be together really organise their lives around a few extra quid.


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