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Divorce, kids and holidays!

  • rp000
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31 Mar 15 #458949 by rp000
Topic started by rp000
Hi guys any advice is greatly received!

So my wife who I seperated from nearly 3 years ago has finally agreed to let me start a 2 year seperation divorce.
We''ve both moved on but she''s still quite aggressive with me (one of the reasons we are divorcing!)
One of her terms of agreeing to divorce is she says I can not take the children abroad on holiday ever.
She says if that is not agreed to then no 2 year seperation divorce and it will have to go through courts.
Can she demand that?!
I drive 700 miles to see my children every other weekend as she moved away when we seperated and pay maintenace for the children every month.
I would just like to take my kids abroad! Kidss are aged 12
And 6.
Many thanks

  • rubytuesday
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31 Mar 15 #458950 by rubytuesday
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Hello,

On the face of things, her stance is unreasonable - does she think that you are a flight risk (unlikely to return with the children)?

The divorce process and arrangements for children (inc holidays abroad) are separate processes. If she refuses to give her consent to a divorce on the grounds of 2 years separation, then your only option is to cite Unreasonable Behaviour (or wait another 2 years until you have been separated for 5 years - her consent is then required).

You can apply for a Specific Issues Order to take the children on holiday if she continues to withhold her consent. You could request that the SIO is a "blanket" order that permits you to take the children abroad for holidays up until they are 16.

Has she given you a reason why she is refusing to give her consent?

  • rp000
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31 Mar 15 #458951 by rp000
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She is a control freak. I think it''s a jealousy thing, she is on benefits as is her new partner and can''t afford holidays.
I work full time as does my new partner. My partner And I have been together for 2 years and we want to go to Mexico for 2 weeks in school holiday time.
The ex said no as she doesn''t think I can keep the children safe. Pretty ridiculous. I''m a soldier my partner is a paediatric nurse so I think they would be pretty safe with us.
I have no family outside England I''m British born and bred and no flight risk with the kids.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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31 Mar 15 #458961 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
Have you had the childen for holidays in this country?

Is it the amount of time or distance she worried about?

  • rp000
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31 Mar 15 #458962 by rp000
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We took them on holiday last year in this country to center parcs for a week. They had a great week and enjoyed themselves. The ex insisted on a phone call everyday from our children.
In the holidays I have them for a week or in the summer holidays 2 weeks.
She is worried that I can not look after them which is completely irrational.

  • Vastra1
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31 Mar 15 #458964 by Vastra1
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Some of it will be anxiety about them being away with you and new partner, she''s not necessarily just being mistrustful or jealous. I fret even when they go away on holidays a few hours away and know it''s irrational. I wouldn''t stop them going overseas but would find it tough due to that worry factor. 90 year old great grandmas tell me it never stops!

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31 Mar 15 #458966 by rp000
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I appreciate people thinking about her anxiety. However I can control my anxiety when my children go camping on holiday with her.
I just want to know where I stand legally. I''m concerned as it''s only depriving our children who wanted to know why They can''t come with us on holiday.
I just want to take my children on holiday when they are with me during the holidays and if it is something that will be negotiable in a divorce or if that is a seperate part to the divorce.

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