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Using bank transfer payment reference field

  • s59
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21 May 2016 22:18 #478593 by s59
Topic posted by s59
Anyone succumbed to the obvious temptation of putting a dig or insult in the payment reference field when making payments to your ex? It''s a great opportunity to sully their bank statements (obviously it appears on yours too)! I am hoping I will be the bigger person and remain mature and sensible... we''ll see... 18 characters..! "VERY EXPENSIVE SEX" , "BTR LUCK NEXT TIME", and so on!

  • Unexpected101
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21 May 2016 22:34 #478597 by Unexpected101
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This doesn''t apply to me but if it did I wouldn''t want him to think I cared or think about it

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22 May 2016 19:06 #478647 by applecake
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That''s abusive and childish.

To me that provides insight in respect of your character.

My ex has done, and is doing, similar stuff, and is now using the legal process to facilitate psychological, abuse.

This is done in the form of what he instructs his solicitor to write. Or constant delaying tactics, not signing important documents then trying to impose unrealistic time boundaries.
Make demands on my future life... which if I don''t comply he wont pay anything. no mater who says he has to.

he left me
the day he left he moved in with his new partner.
we were together for 37 yrs
I never thought that someone could change in the space of 24 hrs.

e the bigger person.

Lifes hard enough as it is .

  • Bubblegum11
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22 May 2016 21:40 #478655 by Bubblegum11
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This is in the jokes and humour section of the forum so I am going to assume that s59 was not seriously considering acting in such a way... Maybe just wanted to let off a little steam before paying the ex in a very rational and appropriate manner ofcourse. ;)

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22 May 2016 21:52 #478657 by s59
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Thanks Bubblegum11, yes I thought there would be some funny examples out there... perhaps not?!! And Applecake, I''ve been on the end of enough abusive behaviour in my proceedings, putting a silly BACS reference is not abusive, please don''t trivialise these terms when many out there are suffering real abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour. Back to the payment reference, I know it''s childish but I''m sure it happens!

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22 May 2016 22:07 #478660 by joem
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Paid my ex my settlement of £150400 by personal cheque with a very big :) on the back.

Made me feel better :laugh:

Joem

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22 May 2016 22:24 #478662 by Bubblegum11
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s59 wrote:

Thanks Bubblegum11, yes I thought there would be some funny examples out there... perhaps not?!! And Applecake, I''ve been on the end of enough abusive behaviour in my proceedings, putting a silly BACS reference is not abusive, please don''t trivialise these terms when many out there are suffering real abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour. Back to the payment reference, I know it''s childish but I''m sure it happens!


It is interesting to see the different perceptions people have of abuse. I guess on its own it is just a silly remark, but if you''ve been subjected to years of verbal/emotional/psychological abuse where you are made to feel completly worthless writing something like "very expensive sex" could just be a continuation of that abuse and control. Sometimes it''s just those constant little digs that do a lot of damage.

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