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I may aswell begin this thread!

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08 Jul 07 #1248 by JustH
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Maybe not the right place to ask this, but feel so bad about myself due to the failure of my marriage

Want to start buiding my self esteem, toning my body, being myself

Feel like a child out of a very suppressed relationship

Have gone from a bonny girl to a bit of a chubby girl

With all this emotion don't know where to start, but if I felt attractive it would make a difference

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08 Jul 07 #1249 by JustH
Reply from JustH
Maybe not the right place to ask this, but feel so bad about myself due to the failure of my marriage

Want to start buiding my self esteem, toning my body, being myself

Feel like a child out of a very suppressed relationship

Have gone from a bonny girl to a bit of a chubby girl

With all this emotion don't know where to start, but if I felt attractive it would make a difference

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10 Jul 07 #1286 by cargomum
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louise speaks so much sense and is a true encouragement to all of us going through it.....i haven't really started,but she's made me feel so much better about things.thank you,louise.

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10 Jul 07 #1287 by cargomum
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this one is for juicymoon.
It takes two to make or break anything.You are not solely responsible for the failure of this marriage.
As for the attractiveness......it's how YOU feel.If someone has belittled you and made you feel bad about yourself,you must keep telling yourself that real friends love you for you,not an image.If you want to lose weight/have a makeover/get a pierced belly button(!) do it,but just for you,not someone else.And for goodness' sake,don't do it in the hope it will make everything ok in a relationship.I tried that. When I was slimmer,he was nicer.But,as all us seriel dieters know,sooner or later it comes back and more.Guess what happened to Mr Nice Guy? Which is why my "new best friend" is this website. This time, I will diet when I want to, which will be when he is out of the equation.He will be under no illusions then,who I have done it for! Until then,the one thing I can control is what I put in my mouth,self destructive I know,but there it is.I should have told him my weight was none of his business 20 years ago,but didn't.I tell my daughter if she only remembers one word of mummy's advice,let it be "DON'T SET A PRECEDENT" Juicymoon, - walk tall,smile and don't apologise for who you are. xxxx

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10 Jul 07 #1290 by Shelia
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Hi Juicymoon

You are attractive already, but being healthier never hurt anyone. So work on that.

I don't know what your ex was like, but looking around me I don't see many men with bodies like Adonis, so why should our standards of attractiveness be set so high?

I look at the cosmetic stuff, hair done,lippy, clothes etc, as some glossy wrapping paper. A bit of fun and nice presentation, but not the be all and end all.

If you wish to change your appearance that's up to you, but its how you are inside that will change how your life is.

Best wishes

Shelia

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15 Jul 07 #1357 by JLGsDad
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Just to say that 'Life after divorce' is very useful to me, and probably a lot of people here, because it gives me something good to think of when my wife is doing her worst.

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16 Jul 07 #1364 by Shelia
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I know what you mean, divorce can be a real uphill struggle. It's hard to adjust and I can't see an end to it.

It will be great when this site has been going long enough to have lots of people who have come out the other side to help others.

At the moment I don't have a life I recognise as mine, it's an existance. My grown up kids feeling sorry for me makes me feel such a loser, although I am pleased they care about me.

Life after divorce? I hope there is.

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