When you're married, you're sitting comfy in the big oceon-liner that represents your home, you've got all of lifes' comforts, friends, and although things may get turbulant, you're in a nice safe place...
and then Life throws you overboard... and you think you'll drown.
You tread water.
Your friends throw you a life-raft. And you're still dry, safe, got food, shelter (albeit smaller!)... and you're bobbing around in the choppy brine, but you can't see dry land. Still, you've got your mates, you've got entertainment, your flashing light is on...
Until, one day another big ship passes, and picks you up.
That's my take on going through a divorce.
You do not fall off the face of the earth! It just seems that way.
Your theory sounds good for you, but I get sea sick.
My theory is you are thrown into an alternative universe, sort of Quantum Leap meets Star Trek. All the characters start acting differently towards you and are wearing wigs. All your personal possessions have turned up in a strange environment that has carpets and wall colours chosen by goodness knows who, and you are attempting to turn it into a home. Your other half you have loved all your life goes over to the dark side and has turned into Darth Vader.
You can't recognise yourself in the mirror, but gradually get used to the new you and battle on with the light sabre you've cobbled together from the little bits of hope and information that you glean from others, especially on this site.
Ha ha. I like your thoery's. I liken it to being chucked on the scrap heap. You have given your best for ___ (fill your own sentence) years and one day your out of all the nice things you had. Somepeople or totaly wrecked by it and some not at all. I have met the damaged ones and I dont want to go there.
But you find out that there are others in the same scrapyard as you and have also been binned and together you all make a new life. To start with its all odds and ends. Peoples discarded items and your new life resembles the scrap yard that you occupy. But one day you find the gates to the yard and you leave. Taking the valuable scrap with you and start again. Then you realy start to live again. Hopefully you have learned something. People can do bad things to each other. The person that you currently share your life with will not always be there for you. Forever is __ long. For me eternity was 12 years. I am not the same person that I was. I have changed. I was asleap and now I am awake. I dont depend on anyone and no one can destroy me now. I got a set of armour in the scrap yard. Ha ha. Chris.
Sheila, you don't need to wait for 'when this is all over'... the tired old hag can go on a holiday now!
My survival tips: I have my marriage troubles, and then there was the 'me' I knew from before the marriage. I keep that sense of 'me' seperate to the tired,stressed lady that stares back from my mirror. If I see my friends, (lifelong friends I've had from before my marriage) I try to talk about things other than my current problems. I'm going on holiday in afew weeks... mediation can wait!
I go to work, and I'm the same lady I was professionaly before I was in this mess. I'm still a good mother, sister, aunty, friend... and all the other 'hats' I wear in life.
Don't let this bitter divorce ruin you. Stay true to yourself. Don't give him the power to destroy you.