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Going Mad??

  • polar
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03 Jun 10 #207195 by polar
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I make no excuses !! I went to the wall because of one person and their actions and attitudes towards me. I never understood how someone who I loved and cared for could cheat and discard me as easily as a sweet wrapper.But when you come to the realisation that it is their fault and their problem and that you are better than them you will be on the road to recovery. After all it is only one person who did it to you !! Not the whole world.
Polar

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03 Jun 10 #207230 by mazdaman
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Polar

So spot on fella, your view is exactly the approach I have taken towards my divorce and my STBX and it does work Thank you for putting into words what I feel

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03 Jun 10 #207232 by OLD4NEW
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Just joined today, and your post was the first one I have read, it's just so nice to know everybody has these feelings that I am going through right now. Thanks

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03 Jun 10 #207245 by Marshy_
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I think we place to much trust in the others we share this third lump of mud from the sun with. We say the vows and mean it. Except not everyone does mean it. Often others say those vows just for _____ (insert reason). And of course one day the reason that we exist with that person goes away and we at the same time also are chucked away.

Not everyone values there partner the same. Often there is an imbalance or an alterier motive at play. And consiously or unconsiously they are looking around for someone new. The real shame is that we dont know the real reason why they are with us. We love them and are faithful to them except they dont feel the same way about us. And there core values are not the same ours. And they think of nothing in lying and cheating there way thru life.

But one thing in common with all people that have poor morals of honesty and decency is that they tend to eventualy gravitate towards the same sort of person with the same moral profile. And they get burned. This is the real justice here. Live by the sword, die by the sword. And it all comes home to roost. Eventualy.

From our persective we should choose a better mate. I often say that we sweat more over buying a new car or Blue Ray DVD player than we do choosing someone that we are supposed to be with for life. In my case it was all there to see. If I hadnt been so blind I would have known that she was no good. And I should have just let her go. But I have learned my lesson. And I will hopefully never get caught like that again. And thats the justice for me. Her new man (that also cheated on his wife) is just an ogre in the making. He just dont know it yet. C.

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03 Jun 10 #207294 by polar
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Good one Marshy.
Yep we do place our trust in somone far to easily but wouldn't it be a poor world if we couldn't. In hospital I had to surrender all to the care of people I didn't even know. And I'll never see them again to say thank you. As for selecting new car or DVD you are right. But when we meet someone we dont look closely at their past behaviour. That was my mistake as its clear that her past was slightly murky to say the least and people, pets and things were transient. (Well she has got the same birthday as Hitler !!) And leopards dont change spots easily which is why (excuse the pun!) A cheater will always be a cheater !! In the 3 years since split she has proved that yet I have retained my dignity and rebuilt a new life and my xmas card list is the longest it has ever been !! Her life? Couldn't care less now as long as she never contacts me or tries to get involved. All I do know is that she will never have the circle of good trustworthy friends that I now have. NEVER. !! Cant be easy for her knowing that her lies will eventually come out or that she has to keep looking over her shoulder in case s lie should expose her. She is vunerable not me LOL LOL LOL
Polar

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01 Aug 10 #217102 by pixelmama
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Thanks Polar
Last night when I registered and started browsing I found your post. Thank you for the many thoughts that fit my world exactly.

Now printed out and stuck to the fridge for the days when I do feel I'm going slightly mad :)

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01 Aug 10 #217113 by polar
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Hi Pixie,
Welcome to the world of cr** !! Early stages for you maybe and still a world of ??????????. Believe me things do get better and now Im 3 and a bit years down the line its not me suffering any more. Anyone who read my posts knows that it was a long pull for me and an expensive one but I rarely used a solicitor due to this site. I dont repect her any more and know now that I didnt lose her. SHE LOST ME !! I am also finding that I had the lucky escape !! But Ive got the best of it in the end. Shes got nothing really and the bright lights are definitely dimming !!! Take care things will improve. Polar

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