A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Revenge is smelly!

  • Louise11
  • Louise11's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Aug 07 #2451 by Louise11
Topic started by Louise11
Hi all

I read a story a couple of months ago, thought I would post it on here, have no idea if its true or not, but hey? Human nature??? Who knows?

A Husband committed Adultery! (naughty naughty) his wife found out and the divorce process started.
The wife was desperate to keep the FMH but couldnt afford it, so it ended up her having to leave it, after being paid off by the husband.
As she was packing it really made her depressed, through no fault of her own she was having to leave her home and him and his partner were moving in! Nice in anyones book that hey?
So off to the shops she went, she bought the usual in the revenge kit, some prawns, meat and nice last date fish!
Now she polished, cleaned and scrubbed the house sparkly clean, after all you dont want his new partner, thinking your'e a scruffy sod do u?
Then she proceeded to take down the curtain poles, she took all the finals off the ends and filled the poles with the prawns, fish and meat. She did this in the lounge and the lovely master bedroom!
With a smile she packed her remaining stuff and left the house.
It didnt take long before her ex husband and his new smug partner moved in. Every thing was quiet for a while.

Then the smell started and no matter how much that house was scrubbed and cleaned nothing could get rid of that foul smell. They had rent-a-kill in, the council, the water board. In the end there was nothing for it but to sell.
Up it went on the market, did it sell? Nope not at all, not even when it was reduced by thousands.

After a while his ex wife rang him and said I see the house is on the market, its so cheap why? he replied o just for a quick sale we decided we want tobe nearer to town. Oh really she said well I will buy it from you? But I want it 10k less than the now asking price, its all i can afford. Well......... desperate to sell, things not going so well with his new partner, he thinks its the answer to his prayers, laughingly he tells his new partner what has happened, they both think this is sooooooooo funny because the ex wife knows nothing of the smell!
The deal is done, the ex wife buys the house and its his turn to be moving out, his new partner and him begin packing, the day of the move!
The ex wife turns up to claim her house and her ex and partner are helping fill the removal van on the front. They look at each other and grin whilst they pass the removal men the remaining items from a completely stripped house............the nice expensive curtain poles!

  • divwiki
  • divwiki's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
27 Aug 07 #2458 by divwiki
Reply from divwiki
So, Revenge is a smelly dish best eaten cold!:P

  • Sera
  • Sera's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
27 Aug 07 #2460 by Sera
Reply from Sera
.... hadn't thought of the hollows of curtain poles!

I'd heard another smelly revenge story. Wife found husband had been with girl in his car. So wife gaffer-taped a slice of bacon to the underside of his seat.

Once rotting, the smell was disgusting, but no matter how hard he cleaned it, the smell remained, and the bacon rasher being flat, it went unnoticed when he peaked under the seat. :evil:

  • gone1
  • gone1's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Aug 07 #2463 by gone1
Reply from gone1
I used to spit in her tea. Not good but the best one was eye drops. To start with it had no effect. So I just used more and more. Still nothing. Then one day she was out with the fat coacher and she came home early with terible runs. She blamed it on the mushrooms that I used to cook diner with. So it sort of backfired. The fat coacher said I was trying to kill her. I thought nice idea ha ha. Chris.

  • Louise11
  • Louise11's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Aug 07 #2469 by Louise11
Reply from Louise11
is showing just how much you dont need that person anymore!

Your life is sweet and sweeter than at any time you were with that person. O my! how you have changed. O my what you no longer smoke? O my, You dont drink anymore? Jesus he has his nipple pierced! My god how much weight have you lost? Arent you looking so much better these days. Never seen you looking so well!
I know I dont know what has come over me. Its like a breath of freshair!

Come on all you out there feeling sorry for yourselves.

Get up and show the world, why you should be in it and what you have to offer. You are you and you are here for a reason, only you have to find the reason, its no good asking another. Be happy in yourself and dont wait or pine for what if or what should of been. If you have been hurt, so what? Get over it! THEY WERE NOT WORTHY OF YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU DESERVE BETTER! have fun finding it!

Grab every chance you can and if you find yourself building a wall around yourself to not allow another in then, why? isnt it better to have a little of something than have nothing at all? Money? possessions? You cant take any of it with you.

I think maybe we all ought to have a party, maybe we should all meet at a hotel for weekend, call ourselves the WIKIVORCERS, or something, have a dinner and dance, meet build friendships, chat amongst ourselves, get some confidence in ourselves. How many would turn up though? LOL NA! we would all sit there thinking oooooooo I daren't, ooooooooooo too scarey, oooooo you shouldnt do things like that! And then another week of our lives go by, another month goes by, another years goes by, and then well the inevitable happens.
So for all of us who say darent, cant or wont? LIfe is too short, if we make pratts of ourselves along the way, so what who cares?

Sorry off i've gone again! LOL

  • sexysadie
  • sexysadie's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
27 Aug 07 #2484 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
Nice idea, Louise, but according to the thing at the top left there are now nearly 3000 of us. We wouldn't fit into a hotel!


  • jay160602
  • jay160602's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
27 Aug 07 #2490 by jay160602
Reply from jay160602
and the men wouldn't be able to afford to buy a drink, never mind stay overnight at the hotel.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Orders from £359

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.