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What lessons have you learned

  • Camberwick green
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24 Nov 07 #7566 by Camberwick green
Reply from Camberwick green
I agree with you there about the youngest of the family, my x2b is and although he is a soldier and can look after himself he rarely wants to!

  • mtoto
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03 Dec 07 #8309 by mtoto
Reply from mtoto
That the man you married can lie and destroy
That your children are even more wonderful than you thought
That maybe it is not about you but about how he has changed
That trust is the most delicate and valuable of commodoties
That unhappiness really does make you thinner
That you don't need as much sleep as you thought

  • ToxieDogg
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03 Dec 07 #8315 by ToxieDogg
Reply from ToxieDogg
braveheart wrote:

What have I learned?

a) Make sure that if you are having an affair ensure your pass code to your mobile phone is a bit more original than 0000

b) delete all those lovely-dovey texts so they cannot be used as incriminating evidence.

b) If you are going to lie, then make it believable

c) not all men are fools

these are really lessons my stbx wife learned not me....useful all the same.

I agree 100% with that. If you change 'passcode to your mobile phone' to 'email login password' and 'texts' to 'emails', then that's a near identical situation to mine.

Still, I'm not sure what's worse....my STBX wife is just blatently flaunting her affair in my face now she's been found out. :(I've only got to ride it out until the contract on our house ends in January at least...

  • braveheart
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03 Dec 07 #8351 by braveheart
Reply from braveheart
I have total sympathy. Mine is as well. But I have found that I now really don't care anymore. I truely couldn't give a toss. The attitude must be that it is over, millions of people get over it and most come out the other side feeling better eventually. But it is tough.

The best advice I was given a few months back was act at all times with dignity. Don't lower yourself to her level.

Good luck.

  • rkowski
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03 Dec 07 #8353 by rkowski
Reply from rkowski
i too have just found my wifes mobile she too has had an an affair the system is screwed i am shafted because we have kids even though it was her lying

  • ark13112003
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10 Dec 07 #8751 by ark13112003
Reply from ark13112003
Camberwick Green,

Just thought that I'd reply to your statement about all women not being money grabbing witches etc.

Even though I am the cause of our seperation (adultry) and I have betrayed my wifes trust in me greatly she is much like yourself and only wants whats reasonable for herself and most of all for our children.

So it does show that even faced with temptation presented by a betraying partner, some people can still be very reasonable.

Just my 2p's worth on good people behaving well in the face of betrayed trust.


  • booty26cd
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10 Dec 07 #8773 by booty26cd
Reply from booty26cd
I'm new to this so apologies if this has already been said.

What i have learnt, in life not just through my divorce, is that what goes around comes around. I remained civil to my ex throughout a very painful and miserable 6 month marriage and subsequent break up and did my utmost to support him through losing 4 jobs - yes 4 in 6 months! (and our home was included with each job so lots of upheaval)

To cut a long story short i remained constant in my belief that good things happen to good people and I was, despite a few flaws, a pretty decent person so eventually good things would happen to me. However, my marriage broke down, I lost my job and then had to face bancruptcy - all in the first 3 months of 2007. :(

But i kept on focusing on the good things. I had a family who loved me and the opportunity to make a completely fresh start.

I now have a great job with a boss who appreciates me. I have just been cleared of my bancrupty order after only 8 months and have a new partner who totally respects and loves me as an equal. I walked away from the relationship without any claims for maintenance as I wanted a Clean Break from my ex and the chance for both of us to move on. My ex is now on job number 6, lonely, struggling financially and whilst I am not happy to see him suffer I am relieved he can no longer drag me down with him and I am finally free to experience the kind of happiness I deserve.

So to anyone who cant quite see the light at the end of the tunnel, everything happens for reason. It is there, sometimes you just have to be patient and wait for your turn to get some of the good things in life.:)

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