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What lessons have you learned

  • gone1
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18 Dec 07 #9217 by gone1
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sexysadie wrote:

I agree absolutely, Chris. And I love the egg metaphor.

Sadie


Ta Sadie. And there I thought I was in trouble :ohmy:C

  • ToxieDogg
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18 Dec 07 #9222 by ToxieDogg
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For what must seem like the thousandth time I've said this, thank you Chris.

I think Vail has hit the nail on the head and I can understand where he is coming from. I too am becoming a little too consumed by the betrayal of trust I've had and am finding it hard to understand my feelings at the moment.

I do agree that honesty is integral to a relationship, I think that unfortunately me and my STBX were just different people in this regard. Perhaps if we had been the 'right' people for each other, then it wouldn't have been so much of an issue, but obviously it just wasn't meant to be.

My faith in people isn't completely shot, one of my closest friends (he was my Best Man) also knows pretty much everything about what's happened in my life too but is a constant source of support and is always there if I need him. I'm sure that when (if) the 'right' person does come along into my life I'll also be able to learn to trust them too, given time.

Time is definitely the greatest healer, that's probably the most major of all the lessons that I've learned so far.

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18 Dec 07 #9224 by gone1
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ToxieDogg wrote:

For what must seem like the thousandth time I've said this, thank you Chris.

I think Vail has hit the nail on the head and I can understand where he is coming from. I too am becoming a little too consumed by the betrayal of trust I've had and am finding it hard to understand my feelings at the moment.

I do agree that honesty is integral to a relationship, I think that unfortunately me and my STBX were just different people in this regard. Perhaps if we had been the 'right' people for each other, then it wouldn't have been so much of an issue, but obviously it just wasn't meant to be.

My faith in people isn't completely shot, one of my closest friends (he was my Best Man) also knows pretty much everything about what's happened in my life too but is a constant source of support and is always there if I need him. I'm sure that when (if) the 'right' person does come along into my life I'll also be able to learn to trust them too, given time.

Time is definitely the greatest healer, that's probably the most major of all the lessons that I've learned so far.


Thanx TD. You will be fine mate. Just take your time and in a couple of years time this will be a distant memory that happened to someone else. Best ones. Chris.

  • annie44
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18 Dec 07 #9239 by annie44
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The lesson that ive learned is once a cheater always a cheater.no matter how many times they say they wont do it again and beg and cry for another chance they soon forget once you take them back.my big regret is not divorcing him years ago when he had an affair then.When it gets to the third affair you have to call it a day.

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21 Dec 07 #9387 by gone1
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annie44 wrote:

The lesson that ive learned is once a cheater always a cheater.no matter how many times they say they wont do it again and beg and cry for another chance they soon forget once you take them back.my big regret is not divorcing him years ago when he had an affair then.When it gets to the third affair you have to call it a day.


I agree annie. Once a cheater always a cheater. I had the chance of having her back June 2006. So glad I didnt. Mind you I did wobble. I would have been a right mess by now. C

  • Monster
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21 Dec 07 #9389 by Monster
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I think i'm going to have to frame this thread with all the good metaphors and advice. Life and all this turmoil we're going through will move on as i'm sure we will all move on too. Its places like this that start to put sense to our grief over what is and has happened to us all. Lessons learned for me and i'm sure others on this site is that we're not alone in the grief or pain of lost relationships. Those whom contribute advice and pour their hearts out to all on this site i salute as without your guidance i would not have learned some of the lessons i have. This website is a treasure for us all..

Monster :cheer:

  • tigstheterror
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21 Dec 07 #9403 by tigstheterror
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Looby i agree and that goes in all areas of the law believe me!!!
Well shame that some ppl get scarred so bad that they never find that fulfilling relationship, not all ppl are the same.
I have learned so much from each of my divorces,,,
Patience
Unselfishness
Guidance
Loyalty
Honesty
Truth
Understanding
Reverence
Perseverance
Willingness
Pity
Control ( as in my temper!)
Respect
Myself ( this was taken away by first hubby)
Absolution
Forgiveness
Peace
but funnily enough,,,never hate,not once,it's such a bad negative emotion that eats away at you. I am glad that after 3 goes and all the hate laid at my door,i have found my life partner and all those lessons learned will bring us and our relationship closer and to blossom more.
All the words that were thrown at me through various stages ion my life have served no purpose at all, they didn't hurt because they were the ones hurting,each of them,they all did bad and lost out on me,the relationships suffered but i grew stronger with each break up,although each one tried to blame me,i looked hard and long at myself each time and saw a person i was ok with,but looking at each of them was another story.
We all should live and learn,no matter ow hard lifes lessons are for thats what makes us better people in the end.
I know after all of my troubles and lifes tribulations that i'm a good person and i just got " unlucky" with my ex husbands.
Chin up everyone and love your selves first,it's a great way to start the healing process in us all,god bless
Tiger xx :kiss:

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