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What lessons have you learned

  • Elle
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17 Mar 10 #192518 by Elle
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Knowledge is NOT power unless acted upon.

E

  • lovelorn_maiden
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18 Mar 10 #192537 by lovelorn_maiden
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Marriage requires alot of compromise....but there is a limit.
Never trust whole heartedly.
When searching for the truth look at someone's actions rather than listening to their words.
Never make the same mistake twice!
and ....size most certainly DOES matter!!
;)

  • Helli
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18 Mar 10 #192538 by Helli
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I dont think I'll be able to trust anyone again.

My husband took that right away from me.

And like you lovelorn, I'll never make the same mistake again.

Fair do's I have made a mess of somethings in my life but that has stopped now.

I'm happy, I haven't beeen able to say that in a while.

Helli

xx

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18 Mar 10 #192539 by hawaythelads
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Don't get married again ever..........errr did I mention that one already ;)xx

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18 Mar 10 #192540 by lovelorn_maiden
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I know exactly what you mean Helli, bout your husband taking your ability to trust away:(

Haway...thought you were being humorous when you said it the first time;)

x

  • chris75
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18 Mar 10 #192545 by chris75
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Anyone would think that you were cynical Pete. ;)

I am not exactly overjoyed with the overall marriage experience but then i haven't lost a lifetimes work and an expensive house unlike some of you guys.

I have lost a modest house and i can live with that but it does sting somewhat that i have to go cap in hand to "her majesty" every time i might wish to say goodnight to my little girls and heaven forbid i disrupt her precious " routine".

Marriage is great if it works out but not a whole lot of fun when it goes awry.

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18 Mar 10 #192553 by musicmad
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What's mine - is hers

What's hers - is hers

What's ours - is hers

The house - I bought - she gets the equity

The house contents - she gets the majority of things

State assisted blackmail?

She lied in bed half the day - I worked hours and hours - I destroyed her "career"

I have drive and ambition - she is lazy - and so is compensated for her "lack of career"

Her future - I carry on bank-rolling it with no incentive for her to ever do anything

I guarantee her future - mine is severely damaged

Her house is far superior to mine - I pay to ensure my daughter has somewhere good to live - she also benefits - she paid nothing towards it

I organise for everything in the divorce I originally didn't want - there being absolutely no incentive for her to agree to anything

I get threatened with keeping her until I die - totally possibly legally (I'd call that blackmail)

I get threatened with never seeing my child - totally possibly legally (I'd call that blackmail)

Oh yes - did I mention that of course I am going through state assisted blackmail?

Two years on and she still won't sign

Oh yes - "our" child heh? The most utterly evil system where people's right to see their own flesh and blood is totally thrown away purely because of their gender. Utterly abhorent.

Are you sure I mentioned state assisted blackmail (all for the benefit of our child apparently and the "sacrifices" she has made)?

Would I consider marriage again? Sure - no problems - that is assuming it's with a woman who has FAR more to loose than I ever do and I ever get over being totally raped (and my daughter still recognises who I am when she is older)... that's an "extremely unlikely" then.

What have I learnt? - don't ever marry or have children if you are male (unless you are happy for your children to be taken from you and your wife has the same career, drive, potential as you do - or better).

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