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Why does my ex husband tell lies about me

  • sillywoman
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24 Mar 12 #319895 by sillywoman
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My ex husband met up with one of our daughters who he hasn''t seen for almost 2 years. He had promised to give her some money towards her up and coming prom. He met her at his place of work.

He didn''t recognise our daughter and she had to wave to get his attention. He then asked if she was wearing coloured contact lenses. Our daughter has never needed glasses or contact lenses. She said no. He said that it looked like her eyes were green and it must be the sunshine. What the heck?? Our daughter was born with green eyes!

He then told her he only had £3 in his pocket and did she want that. She felt sorry for him and said it was okay. This man works full time, receives a pension and lives in a paid for caravan with his current girlfriend.

He then told our daughter that I had been stalking him (I have a non mol order out on him for 3 years) and have been texting his girlfriend. I do not have a mobile phone and even if I did I do not know his/her numbers or where the live.

This astounds me. It was such a great opportunity for him to re-establish a relationship with his daughter. He had promised her some money towards her prom and yet upon meeting her he says he has no money and makes up lies about me.

Anyone got any insight into why this man has behaved in this way??

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24 Mar 12 #319902 by sun flower
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I didn''t want you not to have a reply..but no insight. Perhaps others will. Your poor daughter (and you)...what a stupid man.

  • Shoegirl
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24 Mar 12 #319907 by Shoegirl
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I don''t know your ex but I know the serial adulterer type.

At a guess he is a passive agressive (poor me no money etc) Seems to me he needed to turn the conversation around to you and blame you in some way for his predicament however far fetched this fantasy might be. Again failure to take responsibility. Being able to separate his relationship with his children away from the one he had with you is beyond his capacity.

Compulsive liars get worse and progressively more desperate.

How sad for your daughter. He has neatly ensured he stayed the focus of that meeting.

In a nutshell I reckon that he is communicating that he is unhappy and is projecting that on to you. Fantasy world never ends for the serial cheater in my view and it seems this now extends to serious delusional behaviours.

Cheating never pays does it?

I''m pleased you have moved on from that piece of garbage and I hope things are moving for you on the job front too.

Take care

Shoegirl x

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24 Mar 12 #319908 by mumtoboys
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I agree with shoegirl. My ex lies to such a degree that he can''t keep up with himself - at one point last Xmas he changed his story in the time it took to send 2 texts to me. A complete turn about in the third from the first, different story, totally different situation. I used to think that he thought I was stupid. Now I realise that he just doesn''t know what the truth is so will say whatever he thinks needs to be said to get him into/out of the situation he''s in.

He has the victim mentality you describe and the same inability to separate me from the children.

I have no idea how to really deal with it, other than to let you know you''re not alone with it. I repeat the same old stuff to him again and again - some stuff which is about the children, never me, and which asks him to take responsibility. He never does. I have long resigned myself to the fact that he never will.

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24 Mar 12 #319911 by survive
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I echo what mum has put to you silly woman. My ex is the same too

Survive

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24 Mar 12 #319915 by sillywoman
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Obviously I know how much he earns and how much his pension is because of the CSA amount I receive, but to promise our daughter some money and then nothing received saddens my heart.

As regards the job front, looking to become self employed, so really all good.

Thanks for asking and thanks for your replies.

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24 Mar 12 #319916 by Shoegirl
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These types are cruel. He obviously had no intention of giving her money as he can''t separate his children from you.

It''s awful and it seems to me he made up the story to justify his actions towards his daughter in his own mind. So very sad.

Glad that the work situ is getting there. Very exciting!

Take care and you as ever will pick up the pieces after his actions or inaction towards the children. I know this does not make it right.

Take care

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