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One parties lie is the other parties truth

  • bygones99
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04 Apr 12 #321561 by bygones99
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I have heard this comment a few times on different threads, I wanted to ask do people really believe this is true? What are peoples experiences of this and how common do you think it is?

My situation is that my ex husbands new partner is constantly telling lies about me and about the divorce situation, how it has/is happening. I am not blameless or white as white by any means and will and do hold my hands up to what I have done but it hurts that people are hearing lies about me. Should I stand up for the truth and try and talk to her?

  • julie321
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04 Apr 12 #321563 by julie321
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Personally I wouldn''t give her the satisfaction of knowing it bothers you. The people who believe her lies are in my opinion not worth bothering with either, but thats just me.

  • Marshy_
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04 Apr 12 #321570 by Marshy_
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Hi Bygones. I subscribe to what Julie has said. Dont let it bother you and dont rise to the bait. They are doing this to get a reaction from you. It bothers them that you are living and breathing. Be a thorn in their side by doing just that. And the less you bite the more annoyed they will become but realise that you are not going to bite and eventually, they move onto someone else that will bite. C.

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04 Apr 12 #321573 by stepper
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I agree with the others - try to rise above this hard though it may be.

Personally I don''t subscribe to the theory that one party''s lie is another party''s truth. Obviously there are two sides to every story but some people are out and out liars. It comes easy to them and they can''t help themselves. Fortunately they are often caught out in their lies. However, that seldom seems to bother those with no moral values.

  • Nota
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04 Apr 12 #321576 by Nota
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Hi Bygones

I wouldn''t worry, the truth will out anyway if he''s a habitual liar.
Just ignore them and remain true to yourself.

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04 Apr 12 #321581 by bygones99
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I hear what you are all saying, thank you.

I think I am giving his new partner the benefit of the doubt, which is an unknown. We have never met, she doesnt know me, maybe she believes the lies because that''s all she has heard. I know I won''t be able to convince her I am telling the truth and she is getting caught up in lies but I can''t bear the children hearing the lies about me or spending so much time with someone who believes that about their Mum. It is hard.

I know who I am and what I am and I know the truth of the situation, yet again it''s the children who get caught up in the middle :(

  • Patrick1968
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04 Apr 12 #321636 by Patrick1968
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I''ve been there but not with her new partner but her family and our friends. A twist on lies was not telling the whole truth. It does eat you up but your better off if you don''t engage them. She may find at for herself. The children will work it out for themselves but it maybe worth speaking to someone qualified on strategies to engage with children about this.

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