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Sex and new relationships

  • leftwondering
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17 Apr 12 #324575 by leftwondering
Topic started by leftwondering
It''s been nagging me for a while, that sex had always played an important part in any new relationships I have ever had.
As well as being important in the "flirting" game, it was the "bonding" factor, the thing that brought you both together to a deeper relationship and further possibilities.

It''s the natural "mating" instinct in both sexes.

At 60+ now and having had good sexual relations with many girls when I was young and single and a long and sexually active marriage, I have 100,000 miles on the clock now and no longer feel anywhere the same desire or importance of it in my life anymore.

There are many aspects of a relationship I feel now that are more important.

I got married at 30 and have always been faithful to my partner.
Now she''s gone and I feel that anyone I meet now would be no more than just a friend and that special bond between my long term wife and I that was built up over years and years of intimacy and children can never be recreated.
I have never ever dated anyone in my single life (until 30) where sex wasn''t at least thought about by both parties even though it was never directly mentioned in the early days of a relationship.
I guess I''m in the autumn years and should be spending these days with my long term wife...certainly not looking for starting something new.



  • livinginhope
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17 Apr 12 #324580 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
I think it will all depend upon whether or not you meet someone who appeals to you as a sexual partner then you will probably see things differently.
You may also meet someone who is special to you but not in a sexual way and enjoy a lovely,supportive friendship together.
A male in your age group is like gold dust so enjoy your new life:)

  • Mitchum
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17 Apr 12 #324588 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
I think what you need more than anything at the moment is friendship. You may find you''ve lost a few friends from your coupledom as not all friends can cope with the fall-out. Treasure those who''ve stuck by you and be positive about making new friendships. It''s uncomfortable at first but it helps to welcome all invitations. Accept invites to be out of the house and socialising. If you have fun, all the better.

A relationship has to start somewhere and being friends is a natural place to begin to build the kind of relationship which may become more permanent. Not a replacement for your wife, because that would be a disaster just someone you enjoy spending time with. You''ll know when the time is right and perhaps it''s very early days for you whilst your head is still full of thoughts of your wife.

Take care.

  • WhiteRose
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17 Apr 12 #324593 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi LW,

With whoever you meet and however you feel about them, just be honest with them about what you want (obviously not during first conversation ;))

You sound a catch for some lucky lady :)

Take things at your pace and try to enjoy yourself, no pressures.

I agree with Mitchum - friends first then see how things go.

Take care


  • Marshy_
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18 Apr 12 #324641 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi LW. I have to agree with the others. Friends 1st and see what happens. But I would wait until all this is over as right now you are not in a good place in yr head and that will lead to issues in any relationship you may want to enter. C.

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