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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


counseling

  • Gwenmoon
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12 Sep 07 #3260 by Gwenmoon
Topic started by Gwenmoon
I have been divorced for 3 years now but i am currently taking my ex to court over the financial part which he could not agree too for all this time. I am really badly stressed and it is effecting me and my new family. My solicitor has suggested I go for counseling which I never had when I was going through my divorce. Does anyone think it is worth it or has anyone benefited from it. I need to do something i feel worse now than i did when i was getting my divorce and i was pregnant then as well .

Please help anyone thanks any views would be greatly welcome GWEN :(

  • preacherman
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12 Sep 07 #3272 by preacherman
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Gwen,

As someone who has had counselling before - for reasons of bereavement, rather than divorce, I can thoroughly recomend it.

It can help you see the woods for the trees! Which is often what messes with our minds!

Few words, but hope they help...

P

  • gone1
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12 Sep 07 #3293 by gone1
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Hi Gwen. For what its worth here is my view. I was sent to counsiling becuase my ex convinced me I was controling. Hows that for an oxymoron? Ok sorry. I didnt find it helpful at all and the only thing I got out of it was the women telling me I should take control of my life as she didnt think I was controling enough!!

I read a survey where they compared people that had counsiling and people who had not. This was for one of the rail disarsters. The found that the people that had not had consiling recovered more quickly.

On the other hand I met someone that went thru pals consiling and she thought they were bril and helped her come to terms with things. So there you are.

I cant say which is right or wrong and whats right for you. There is no harm in trying though.

I think its good to talk and I would find it better to talk to someone I knew rather than a complete stranger.

Thing is it cant do any harm. It may not do you any good either. God I am like a pieces today!!!! Chris.

  • Vion
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12 Sep 07 #3295 by Vion
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Hi Gwen,

I recommend you go, you can’t loose. Your first session can just be a try out – get to know the counsellor and the process and… well you just talk. It sounds like that’s what you need more than anything. If you stick it out you will come to confront issues which have got you to where you are today and it will open up ways to change yourself and make you stronger to face the issues that are causing the grievances in your life. Doing this will make it harder for people to hurt you because you will better know the weaknesses they go for and your own strengths. Sounds straight up your street to me, to be frank. Like Preacherman, I say go for it.
Good luck,
Vion

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13 Sep 07 #3311 by gone1
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Gwen. Dont forget samaritans. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. Sometimes just telling someone helps you to organise it in your mind and the telling alows you to release tensions. You can do this in the comfort of your own home and its free. I found consiling expensive. I used samaritans at times and I found it very useful. They are there for anybody and not just suicides. Chris.

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13 Sep 07 #3320 by Gwenmoon
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Hi everyone thanks for the advise. I am going to see the doctor today been told i can get free counseling going to check it out see if it's so will keep you posted.

Thanks Gwen ;)

  • herewegoagain
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13 Sep 07 #3344 by herewegoagain
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Yes go to your GP, and ask to be referred to the Practice Counsellor. In most NHS practices they are a service provided for patients, through the PCT, they are busy and there is generally a waiting list, but it is a free service, and an hour spent chatting to the Counsellor is very therapeutic. You are usually offered a set amount of sessions, and you may feel at the end that it was not what you expected, but in hindsight, I think it was, and it stopped me burdening my family, or friends or work colleagues.

And try Samaritans, they are available most areas for 24 hours a day, volunteers but listeners, and you can just blab away, without meeting or knowing the person, and you don't get the same one twice, so you can keep phoning till you get fed up!

Go and sit in field, and talk to yourself! You do look a bit daft sitting on the swings in the park, but its surprising who talks to you, and if you just want company and someone to talk to, its a bit of a lift!

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