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Sins of Your Ex

  • Wiser
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19 May 12 #331523 by Wiser
Topic started by Wiser
This is a serious post and one that isn''t written lightly or overnight.

Divorced.
Kids.
No resolution.

If you have evidence of sins of your ex, is it appropriate to "denounce" or "confess their sins" to people in authority?

The "sins" would end in heavy financial penalties and possibly prison.

This decision is playing on my mind since I have uncovered information over the course of the divorce.

It would be with a heavy heart that I would have to do this. We are talking someone who I deeply loved and trusted and is the biological parent to my children.

I feel I have to be the responsible one as my ex seems to be getting deeper and deeper into trouble.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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19 May 12 #331525 by MrsMathsisfun
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Are you being affected by these ''''sins''''.

What do you hope will be the result of this situation?

Are you trying to help or hurt the ex?

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19 May 12 #331528 by Wiser
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Q1 Yes, totally being held in the past and the burden of knowing what ex has done is laying heavy on my conscience.
Q2 Equality & fair resolution and an end to the personal ties to the past(responsibility of kids continues).
Q3 Help the ex to confront ex''s sins and take responsibility (& guilt)for ex''s actions & behaviour. Revenge is not the aim, peace of mind, honesty and integrity is.

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19 May 12 #331529 by MrsMathsisfun
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I think as long as you doing it for the right reasons and you can live with the consequences. Then do what you have too.

  • jjones123
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19 May 12 #331558 by jjones123
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I guess it all depends on what the sins are. If the ex has broken the law in such a way that not doing something weighs heavily on your conscience if you do nothing, I might (personally) be tempted to say something. As Mathis said above, if you can live with yourself (with either decision) then perhaps that''s the thing to do.

Another perspective is that you''re no longer responsible for you ex. The trouble that they may get into is their own fault, however sad it may be. In the bigger picture they''ve come to terms with their own actions and perhaps nothing that you may say to them may sink in.

I remember being in (perhaps a lesser) dillema: should I share something about my own situation to friends and family (even though my ex wouldn''t like it)? Answering this came down to two things: I felt that it was important to share something about my side of the story - but after saying a couple of things, I felt that the best thing I should do is to concentrate on myself and my own situation.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Best,
JJ

  • Wiser
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19 May 12 #331562 by Wiser
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The sins of the ex are unlawful and it weighs heavy on my mind because I know and have some evidence.

Although I have personally forgiven my ex for these actions so I can move on, there are other people who know a some of the story. However these people have contributed to the sins by further supporting unlawful actions.

I have come to the conclusion that my only option is to tell who needs to know 100% based on facts, it has gone past emotions and pyschology, today I look at the evidence I have before me and put things right.

I didn''t want to have to for the sake of the children, but when a parent is breaking the law, I beleive it is not a role model and the children should be protected.

If I do nothing, the cycle of unlawfulness will take over and then I think that''s anarchy and head roll.

All humans make errors, but when a human affects others, some brave person needs to take a stand.

Sad day indeed.

  • eyes on horizon
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19 May 12 #331569 by eyes on horizon
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If it was me I would ask myself would I do the same if it was my best friend or sibling and I knew of these ''sins''.

If not then my only conclusion would be that my motive was in fact revenge after all.

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