A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Still Struggling

  • flowerofscotland
  • flowerofscotland's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
24 Jun 12 #338721 by flowerofscotland
Reply from flowerofscotland
Hi wmorris2,

When depression sets in, it can be a long hard slog to get back on the joy of life road. Do not be too hard on yourself, you have taken you first step onto a new road.

You have to speak to someone, counselling is a great way to start and can have long term benefits, but if you seriously recognise that your drinking is spiralling out of control and want to make a conscience effort to get out of the vicious cycle, then go and seek out Alcoholics Anonymous, there will be meetings all over the country. Recognising your need to improve your life, takes great courage wmorris2 and by even reaching out to Wiki, well done.

I think many of us get stuck and struggle to come to terms with things, by often sticking our heads in the sand for too long. Take comfort in knowing that we are all going through this divorce and separation hell, often seeking answers that I know we will never find. I think for many of us ''acceptance'' is what we struggle with the most. Once we ''find'' it we can be in a much better position to move on and take control of our lives again...I know I am still working on that one!

Listen to Marshy, you sound as if you want to change, well only you can do that....the rest will all fall into place once you have picked yourself up and dusted yourself down. It is down to us and only us if we want to survive this lonely place of divorce and move on to a more fulfilling life filled with joy and happiness....

Take care for now FoS x

  • julie321
  • julie321's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
24 Jun 12 #338775 by julie321
Reply from julie321
Will

I am not good with words but my thoughts are with you. You will find many people on here who are alone. I too have two children but one has moved to the other end of the country for work and the youngest starts uni away from home in October. I have only my elderly mum who is in a nursing home so I am not looking foreward to my daughter leaving.

It is difficult on your own I know and it is not easy to socialise as a single person.

Do go to councelling if you can, I have and it did help.

Good luck

  • wmorris2
  • wmorris2's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
24 Jun 12 #338777 by wmorris2
Reply from wmorris2
Thank you all for your comments.

I will reply to each of you as soon as I have the time (probably tonight)

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
24 Jun 12 #338784 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
flowerofscotland wrote:


Listen to Marshy, you sound as if you want to change, well only you can do that....the rest will all fall into place once you have picked yourself up and dusted yourself down. It is down to us and only us if we want to survive this lonely place of divorce and move on to a more fulfilling life filled with joy and happiness....


I dont know about listen to me... There is lots of good things said to you on this thread. All valid.

This is a hard thing you have gone thru. Perhaps the hardest thing you will ever face. But its a test. You are being tested to see if you are worthy or not.

But you are worthy and you will crack this. Have belief that you can do this. Ok sure, its you that has to change. But there is plenty of help about to assist you on yr journey.

Lastly, you will see plenty of talk about small steps or baby steps. This is how you walk yr way out of this mess. But this starts with you. If you make a decision that your not gona suffer no more then you dont have to.

Very lastly :)Many think that they are a failure when they dont succeed or they are not an instant success. But thats not true. All it means is that you have not succeeded yet. Hope this helps. Chin up mate. C.

  • wmorris2
  • wmorris2's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
25 Jun 12 #338843 by wmorris2
Reply from wmorris2
Yes some good advice from all.

I took the baby steps. I got strong but then I have started to crumble again.

So I guess the best thing I can do is throw myself in to work and into other things.

I find that I have started to day dream a lot when I am at work. This for various reasons is not good. So I am trying to find other ways to distract my thoughts at work.

  • Linx
  • Linx's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
14 Jul 12 #343108 by Linx
Reply from Linx
Hi Will, I feel for you particularly as I am in a similar position - my wife walked out with our two kids and contact is frightfully limited...so, so painful! To compound matters I got made redundant in October 2011, 2 weeks after our seperation and I haven''t found work! I am not in a good place at all. I don''t drink though there is a very social Pub in front of my new home and I often tempted to go there, though I no where that will lead me - as I am extremely vulnerable.

Let me know when you start that blog mate, it looks lie we have a lot to talk about! L

  • afonleas
  • afonleas's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
14 Jul 12 #343111 by afonleas
Reply from afonleas
(((( LINX ))))
Yes your story is alike to wmmorris,and like the advice he''s has been given,you maybe need to see your GP,lonliness is a dark and horrible place,but it is somewhere we have all been!!!!
Unfortunatly you have also lost your job,so try to find out about some volunteer work in your area?this will help make new friends and keep you motivated!!!when you feel alive again it will make a differance when looking for a new job.
There is help available for you,but unfortunatly you have to go and find it!!!! but it will be so worthwhile when you do.
Take care!!!

Sorry to jump on wmmorris but hope you are okay! and life is improving somewhat!!!!

Take care
Luv and cwtchs
Afon xx.....................................

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11