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  • blonde cazza
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04 Jul 12 #341123 by blonde cazza
Topic started by blonde cazza
Just got home from work and it was waiting on the doormat...Absolute and the words we can now close your file.
I didnt think it would hurt but it feels like a knife in my back!
20 years i put up with a man who was violent towards me but his family brush it under the carpet.
I was strong enough to ask for a divorce but ever since ive had to pay by a man who stopped paying our household bills when we sperated and has gone back on everything he said and today i feel hs put the final nail all because hes wants control.
Throughout our divorce my ex has lied and lied not thinking about what and how this will affect my future as a person.
Since we seperated ive found out that ive had false face book accounts set up my friends have been harrassed and then to top it all he had no reason to divorce me so lied on the reasons he gave.
How on earth does someone move on from this?..i feel ive been through 18 months of hell from this man and the saddest thing is ive still got to have contact to the sake of our children when really all you want to do is forget they exsist.

  • livinginhope
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04 Jul 12 #341162 by livinginhope
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The best revenge you can have on Ex is to live life to the full and look forward to a happy future without him.He is no longer able to control you,you are now free,it won''t always be easy but you will be in charge of your own life.Good luck xxx

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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04 Jul 12 #341219 by Now Gone From Wiki
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You''re a long way ahead of me in the process so I am not sure whether this will be of any use but given that you have survived this you will be best off carrying on surviving. Be successful, be happy, do new things, meet new people and fill your life as much as possible so that the remaining misery is only a small part of you. Good luck on the journey!

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04 Jul 12 #341230 by Action
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Thinking of you Blonde Cazza. I felt really strange when mine arrived a few weeks ago. Relief in one way but very sad that 32 years of marriage had been thrown away. Luckily, once the FMH is sold I will not need to have contact with the creep as my children are grown up.

Hope you haven''t had to endure any ''friends'' congratulating you!

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05 Jul 12 #341348 by blonde cazza
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Thanks people i do feel very sad about...mine was a very odd break up and he has put so many spanners in the works.
I have to still have contact wth him as my youngest is 13 but im going to find it so very hard after what ive been through.ive already decided that im goingto spend the last months of this year on me then next year make plans.

  • Marshy_
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05 Jul 12 #341355 by Marshy_
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Hi BC.

blonde cazza wrote:

How on earth does someone move on from this?..

Hi BC. Say you had this thorn in your foot. And you had it for years and years. And then one day, you felt strong enough to sever the attachment to this thorn. It caused you pain. Lied to you when you asked the thorn not to hurt. But it did hurt. And it hurt a heck of a lot when you had it taken out. Cos the thorn was so deep in your foot. You will have a scar. But you will walk again and you wont have to limp anymore.

I know this is a simple analagy and you did ask how you move on. This is how you move on. He is the thorn. You have had it taken out now. No more pain from him (the thorn) and you can walk straight and true now.

We are often held back by the ones that betray us. And he is nothing todo with you now. So there is no reason for this to hold you back. The thorn is out now. Gone. It will never hurt you again. It cant lie to you.

I know you have shared access to the kids. But look at it this way, he is the father sure. No one can take that away. But look apon him as a free childminder. He looks after the kids when you dont want to or cant have them. Or when they want to visit the free childminder. So try and look at him for what he is. No one.

A lot of people ask me how I got over what happened to me. And I could be dead cocky and say something like I read a 10000 books, went to 100000000 hours of counseling and wipped myself red raw on the white cliffs of dover. Truth is that its a change of mind. A decision that he wont hurt you. Will not affect you anymore and that you defo are better off without him. Say these things to yrself and you will eventualy convince yrself that its true. It is actually.

I dont recomend the whip though. Bit messy :blink:C.

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