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Ex looking for new partner

  • livinginhope
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06 Jul 12 #341573 by livinginhope
Topic started by livinginhope
We''ve been divorced for a couple of months.I divorced him on ground of UB.He didn''t want to get divorced but,in his words,"he couldn''t be bothered" to work at making things better.His life revolved around his hobbies and doing exactly what he wanted to do and we were never truly a couple although he couldn''t understand what I meant by that.
He has immediately started Internet Dating and I really can''t understand why.He seems completely unsuited to having a real relationship.
I feel quite numb about it but suppose I must be bothered to be posting about it.I wasn''t asking for the earth in our marriage ,kindness and respect would have been enough.
Living

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06 Jul 12 #341579 by Reddit
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Internet dating doesn''t mean he is looking for a partner. You started divorce proceedings 6 months ago and I presume things were not very good before that, so just how long is long enough?

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06 Jul 12 #341583 by julie321
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Living

My stbx was exactly the same, everything had to revolve around him otherwise he wasn''t happy. He didn''t bother with internet just lied and cheated for nine months before leaving.

Don''t let this get to you i know exactly what you mean abot having someone who is kind and respectful, unfortunately that wasn''t for us.

Keep strong.

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06 Jul 12 #341587 by livinginhope
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Reddit,I realise he can do exactly what he wants but what surprises me is that he is wanting to start dating so soon when he couldn''t be bothered to put any effort into trying to save our marriage and our relationship which he said he didn''t want to end.
The one thing our marriage has done for me is to never
want to date or have a relationship with a man again.Perhaps I should be flattered that he''s so keen to be with a woman again!
Thanks for your message Julie x

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06 Jul 12 #341589 by jslgb
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Living my husband did something similar to this. He struck up a ''friendship'' with a friend of mine which developed to the point where he had to choose between her and me (she made him, i had no knowledge of it at the time). After telling me he didnt want a relationship he just wanted a simple life with his kids i found out what had gone on and that he had moved from our home to hers.

I think what it boils down to its easier to be with someone new than to stick around and work things out. All relationships tend to start out all hearts and chocolates, the ex tells his new gf how bad his wife was and what she put him through so the new gf is extra nice to him, lets him get away with all kinds of things, doesnt nag, is active in the bedroom etc etc etc.

It obviously bothers you now but further on down the line you''ll be glad to be rid of him and pity whoever he ends up with! He doesnt deserve you xx

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06 Jul 12 #341592 by livinginhope
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I''ve realised that I haven''t mentioned that the woman he met quickly decided she wants to be just friends.I also believe unless he changes how he behaves in a relationship he will never have a happy one and that is why I wonder why he thinks he is looking for one now.I imagine it would be good for his ego to be seen with a new model by his side.He does like to impress with cars etc.and a new woman will be good for his image.

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06 Jul 12 #341612 by Reddit
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I''m sorry if I was a bit peremptory Livinginhope. I was in an affection-less marriage for years but had decided to stick with it for the kids. (Really, not a cliche)
It came as a great shock to me that my X petitioned for divorce. In her eyes I got back on the horse with undue alacrity. After 7 years without so much as a cuddle I begged to differ but I am still seen as a sex beast in her eyes. :blink:

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