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Mummy Two Anxieties

  • Wiser
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07 Jul 12 #341673 by Wiser
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If you''ve been a second wife, you''ll understand....

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-21700...usband-divorced.html

But urrgh, the thought of rekindling makes me sick, I have more self-respect now.

What do you think?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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07 Jul 12 #341697 by MrsMathsisfun
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my ex new wife couldnt cope with me being around. Even though she came on the scene about 5 years after we had split and divorced.

She really couldnt cope with my ex and I being friends and happily co parenting.

She immediately set about distancing the children from their father. Unfortunately eventually it worked and my children very rarely see their father and new siblings.

As a second wife to be, I can see some of the issues from her side, always having to fit into the children plans rather than being able to plan your own life.

However I would never want my partners children not to be a part of his life and will continue to support his contact children despite it often feeling that she is the one pulling our strings and we are helpless because she has the power to withhold contact if my partner doesnt agree.

Oh and yes just to add an extra insult she can withhold contact then expect my partner to pay extra cm for the privilege of not seeing his children.

ps I am not a bitter OW, I meet my partner along time after the ex walked away from the marriage with the OM

  • hawaythelads
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07 Jul 12 #341707 by hawaythelads
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Does a man ever truly stop loving his ex-wife? SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced

This one fecking did!!:blink:

All the best
HRH xx

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07 Jul 12 #341726 by For real
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I have major problems with my ex''s girfriend. She alienates my son to the point that he only spends a few hours with his dad every other week now, it used to be weekly. We have been separated and divorced for years he met her a year or so after we divorced. She is convinced he has feelings for me just because we don''t bicker and fight. I don''t text him outside of anything to do with our son, I don''t go out to the car when he picks him up or drops him off if she is in the car (something we both agreed on to avoid any trouble - more for him than me). Her problem doesn''t appear to be my son, more to to with me (or her insecurities with my ex), however my son pays the price. He is not able to have a fruitful established relationship and it is deteriorating fast. I fully appreciate that this falls completely at the feet of my ex and he needs to deal with it and try and salvage what relationship he can with our son. What I cannot fathom is how she has spent the last 5 years with this ''little demon'' eating away at her when there is absolutely no foundation to it. I have two step daughters who I get along with famously. I could never imagine them not staying over or being an integral part of our ''new family unit'', and being the ''second wife'' doesn''t eat away at me... I''ve seen his ex and been party to so much of her nonsense that I have no issues with my fella ever thinking of going back there.

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10 Jul 12 #342258 by Wiser
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hawaythelads wrote:

Does a man ever truly stop loving his ex-wife? SANDRA HOWARD asks the question that unsettles every woman whose husband is divorced

This one fecking did!!:blink:

All the best
HRH xx



But HRH, you are always talking about your ex wife in such affectionate terms that maybe you are still in love with her, ha ha.

I have, over the period of the divorce, been asked if I am in fact still in love with my ex husband..........I think I will be perfectly clear, he makes me feel sick and I look forward to the day I don''t have to utter his name. Every day I get closer to this position, every day I get stronger, every day I focus on what & who I DO want in my life. So the answer is NOT on your Nelly!

I am Wiser, not stupid.

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10 Jul 12 #342282 by rubytuesday
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Does a man ever truly stop loving his ex-wife?

I was my ex-husband''s THIRD wife (he had a real taste for wedding cake....) and he would regularly make comparisons between myself and his second wife, and ask why couldn''t I be more like her :angry:

I know that my ex-partner''s (we were together for 10 year and had 2 children together) new wife was very insecure about his previous relationship with me, and did her utmost to ensure that I wasn''t able to contact him directly to discuss arrangements for our children - even going so far as to send me countless abusive emails and stating that any arrangements regarding the children and their father had to be done through her, and sanctioned by her. Until that point, he and I had had a very good co-parenting relationship. Quite sad, really, that she should consider me some sort of threat.

And as for re-kindling....I don''t think so ;)

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10 Jul 12 #342306 by Marshy_
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rubytuesday wrote:

Does a man ever truly stop loving his ex-wife?


I have no feelings what so ever for my ex. I dont hate her anymore. I feel sorry for her. But thats all. I am over what we had. Which looking back wasnt that valuable.

And as for re-kindling....I don''t think so ;)


If I wanted to do that I couldnt. She has married the man she had the affair with and I have moved twice. And she has moved also. And neither know where the other lives.

But I dont believe in going backwards. I think we should move forwards with our lives. For those that do go back to the ex after a long time, often the reasons for the breakup in the 1st place come back and I doubt that its ever the same. To my mind, we are much better off starting again with someone new. With all this knowledge and experiance under our belts we make a much better prospect I think anyway. C.

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