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Sharks in the Water!!

  • BrokenPromises
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25 Jul 12 #345280 by BrokenPromises
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Just a question / questions for an opinion from hopefully like minded people.

As those of you who have replied to some of my previous post will know, I have been divorced since January this year, separated since July last year, and lived a bizzare life for the previous 2 years!

I was asked out by what seemed like a nice guy a couple of weeks ago, however am very cautious at the moment - not feeling ready to get into all that stuff. Anyway he persuaded me that it would be a good idea and he seemed like a genuinely Ok guy. I went out for a drink with him for an evening which went really well and we got on great. He then asked me if I would like to go out with him for the day on weekend and we would go for lunch etc. In the meantime I was going out for the evening with some friends and this guy text me to see if I was having a nice time, then he text me to see where I was, then he turned up to find me. Was a little surprised by this as we had arrangments for the next day. Anyway the long and the short of this post is - this guy came on really strong, telling me that he really liked me and that he predicted that we would be married within two years (!) and went on to say that did we have to do the ''dating'' thing and could we just be an item, that his family would love me etc etc. I told him that he was a really nice guy and that we could go out for evenings and lunch, but at a gradual pace so that we could get to know each other, which he seemed OK with. We went out for the day - had a nice time and I was quite comfortable with him.

However then next thing he sent me a text saying that he had come to a decision that he couldn''t see me again but could we still be friends. Confused.com!

I suppose what I''m asking is - why do people act this way? Is this what getting to know new people is going to be like?

Feel a bit like - I decided maybe I''d dip my toe in the water - and along comes another shark!

BP:S

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25 Jul 12 #345281 by sillywoman
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He probably wanted to move straight in with you!

They are the types of blokes I have met since divorce. They seem to think that its okay for a date (maybe 2) and then move in.

You were letting this bloke know that you would be wanting to get to know him before any thing serious - he wanted to get straight in there!

Anyway well done you. You found out a desperate man early on and escaped.

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25 Jul 12 #345291 by wammcl
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Probably not the best introduction to getting back on the scene. You poor thing Not only are you vulnerable and scarred from your divorce some a*se comes along and thinks he can do that to you and mess with yourr very fragile self. Sounds like a bit of a bullying opportunist to me - lucky escape. There''ll be someone again I''m sure, probably when you''re least expecting it - that''s what I''m told anyway. Stay strong. We care.

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25 Jul 12 #345313 by Action
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Just be thankful that you saw this side of him early on. I have a friend who started dating a bloke, after her difficult divorce. He seemed to kind and romantic and made huge ''sweeping off feet'' gestures. He moved in fairly quickly but turned out to be a possesive, psycho stalker - I even had to get the police out to him one night as he''d locked her in the bedroom.

You''ve done the right thing wanting to take is slowly and I am really sorry that this guy was not what you thought - it''s rotten luck when you''ve been through so much already.

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25 Jul 12 #345318 by Marshy_
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Hi BP.

BrokenPromises wrote:


I suppose what I''m asking is - why do people act this way? Is this what getting to know new people is going to be like?

Feel a bit like - I decided maybe I''d dip my toe in the water - and along comes another shark! BP:S


You do find this a lot. There are some that go at 0.00001 MPH and some that wana go at 10000 MPH. And no in between. Then when you either try and gee um up a bit or slow them down, they react in an unexpected way. Kinda like they are unstable.

What I suspect with yr guy is that he is needy and has a place in his life for a warm body. I suggest you give him a wide birth. There may be loads of other things in the woodwork that is ready to come out. The key was that he came to where you was with yr mates. Thats a big no no as far as dating someone is concerned. Perhaps he is the jealous type and was checking on you. Perhaps he is controlling? What ever it is I would just let him go. Otherwise you will have this yo yo existence of him wanting to be friends and then lovers and then married in 2 years and back to friends again.

C.

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26 Jul 12 #345459 by BrokenPromises
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Thanks guys - knew you''d get where I''m coming from. Thanks for words of support x

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