I have divorced for nearly two years and have three children aged 9, 16 and 18.
On divorce the Consent Order set a sum of £650 per month while the children are in primary or secondary eduction.
My eldest son has left six form this year and will start university in October. however he does not want to get a part time job and still eaves with my ex wife. The Consent Order says I can reduce the maintenance payments by a third therefore to £433. My ex wants me to maintain the payments and wants me to pay my sin directly the difference of £216.
I am unemployed at the moment being made redundant end of February (had some temp work in May and June) and although have no income I do have a redundancy payment of £30k which I am using to pay my bills.
Therefore I find it almost impossible to work through the issues of wanting to support my son but aware that I have no income. I also have £36k set aside to assist all the kids with their university education so my son will get £12k of that. He has applied for all the student loan and accommodation grants for when he starts university.
I have money but that does not mean i just hand it over to my ex and son surely? dont I have to think of my own future as well? What is fair in this situation? I am in a new relationship myself and the money will be useful to buy a place and start my new life.
As your son has already applied for tuition and accommodation financing from student finance perhaps you can use the 12k you have set aside for university to help support him through it. How would you feel about drip feeding him this throughout his degree as a form of maintenance paid directly to him?
You could also reason with him that if he were to get a job and contribute perhaps £100 a week towards his upkeep you and your ex wife could equally provide the rest towards an agreed amount.
Having a part time job in term time is (a) difficult to get and (b) likely to impact his studies. Students who work tend to get worse results than those who don''t. It may be better for him to concentrate on opportunities for vacation work - which apart from any fiancial return will also give him useful bits and pieces of experience to put on his cv after he graduates.
£12,000 given in monthly amounts over 3 years almost equeates to what your ex is asking for so why not do that?
If your court order is more than 12 months old, you can apply to the csa to assess cm instead.
Is your ex on an income low enough for your son to receive maintenance grant?
I disagree re part time job. So long as it is not excessive, working p/t at uni can be a good thing in the first couple of years. It helps students learn the value of money and also gives them something to put on a cv to show they are employable.
I would suggest, if you can afford it, you say agree to pay a reasonable phone contract and perhaps offer a small amount towards living costs. I would save the 12k to help with the costs of postgraduate study and/or travel etc or to subsidise rent when he graduates and is looking for a job.
I agree with Pixy. I don''t think anything more than a Saturday job is a good idea at university. I work in a university and we definitely see the difference in results (and attendance) when students are doing any more than this. Drip-feeding the £12000 over three years sounds like a good idea and would top up the loans enough to allow him to live reasonably but not extravagantly.
8 - 12 hours a week would be optimum. Does not need to be a Saturday or all in one shift. My eldest worked in a sandwich bar in her first two years and came out with a first class honours. For her masters year she has worked in the uni library and mentoring international students. She says she thinks she works more effectively when her time is limited. Working also means less time for distractions like the pub ....