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No more friends after divorce

  • Lateinlife
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11 Aug 12 #348799 by Lateinlife
Topic started by Lateinlife
Strangly I wish I had put up with it all and stayed in a bad marriage purly because of the consequeses.

Lost most of my close friends.
Two sons who have not had any contact with me at all in nearly 3 years
Living in a town where I dont fit in.
Working in a new City where I dont know anyone.
A Father & Brother I cant trust anymore

Even being remarried to a great lady doesnt seem to make it worth while.

  • livinginhope
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11 Aug 12 #348917 by livinginhope
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It can be very difficult trying to start a life in a new place.It can take a lot of getting used to and needs lots of effort to make it work.
I moved areas and was unhappy for a long time but am now managing to make a good life for myself and wouldn''t want to go back to my previous life now.
Looking back with regret could spoil your new marriage so you do need to let go of the past and start looking to the future.You may be suffering from Depression and if you think that is the case do go and see your Dr.
Is there no possibility of you seeing your sons?

  • loveourmum
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12 Aug 12 #349075 by loveourmum
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You have only lost people out of your life who were not important in the first place!

Your sons will make their own minds up when they mature and become parents themselves.

Best wishes

  • sillywoman
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12 Aug 12 #349087 by sillywoman
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Lateinlife - my 3 daughters mean more to me than any man possibly could. They are 21, 19 and 16 and without them my life would have no meaning. So I do know where you are coming from.

However, my ex, their dad, has nothing to do with our girls whatsoever. I had a dreadful marriage, he was a serial cheat and lead me (and our girls) a dogs life.

I am so pro both parents and he knew that and because he said he would be unable to see our girls if I divorced him, I stayed in that rotten marriage for years and years until I could no longer do so. And he has kept his promise and has nothing to do with our girls.

That fact used to break my heart and it is so hard being emotionally and more or less the only financial help they have, but we have got there. I just think it is his loss, especially as I was bursting with pride last week when our eldest graduated and she looked so beautiful.

Next week the youngest gets her GCSE results, again (hopefully!) a day of pride and the middle just got a First following her first year at University.

I have no money for anything, we eat frugally and value food, I have no spare cash for hair dressers and my ex is apparently driving around in a new BM.

He pays CSA for our youngest but only because he has to. I have divorced him and therefore he has washed his hands o his kids cos he cant have me.

But, I couldn''t be happier.

I dont know your story, but obviously you love your children. I dont know why you have lost contact with them, but please try to resume contact. Children no matter what age need both mum and dad in their lives (if possible) and we as parents need our children.

Good luck!

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