University Fees

I can''t see how you can be forced to help someone who is legally an adult

See Schedule 1, Children Act 1989.

Orders for financial relief for persons over eighteen

2(1)If, on an application by a person who has reached the age of eighteen, it appears to the court—
(a)that the applicant is, will be or (if an order were made under this paragraph) would be receiving instruction at an educational establishment or undergoing training for a trade, profession or vocation, whether or not while in gainful employment; or

(b)that there are special circumstances which justify the making of an order under this paragraph,

the court may make one or both of the orders mentioned in sub-paragraph (2).
(2)The orders are—

(a)an order requiring either or both of the applicant’s parents to pay to the applicant such periodical payments, for such term, as may be specified in the order;

(b)an order requiring either or both of the applicant’s parents to pay to the applicant such lump sum as may be so specified.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1989/41/schedule/1

Surely part of the decision to go Uni involves the question can I afford it - or how can I fund it?

My parents were together when I finished school, but they still couldn''t afford to send me to College or Uni, I went into full time work (YTS).

Surely the sensible thing would be to discuss Uni with both parents and the budget required and see what can be afforded, rather than play the blame game.

One parent can''t decide what the other may or may not be able to afford. Just because my parents couldn''t afford to put me through Uni, I don''t think it means they love me any less!

WR

Point taken and a very valid one. However my Ex will not discuss anything with me only dictate what I should do.

I dont think uni depends on whether parents can afford to support it or not. In an ideal world it would be nice to have someone to support you through uni but it doesnt always happen like that.

My mother has been a single parent since my father passed away many years ago. She was never in the position to support any of us through uni. Both my sister and I have attended uni and we have both supported ourselves. I still have a year to go and have gone from having my husbands income supporting me to being a single parent and relying on my student finance. Its a huge shock but i had no choice but to get on with it. Obviously i began uni as a ''mature student'' at 24 but even at 18 i would have never have taken a parent to court to support me. Uni is full of all kinds of people from different walks of life and many students on my course work part time.

If i were in the OP''s situation i would feel very much used and disrespected. Obviously we dont know the background but for his daughter to contemplate taking him to court for money when she cant even return an email seems a little bit rude!

There was one line in your post that really struck me.

This is so unfair as I still want the best for my children but...

I want you to think about this. I''m not saying that it is best for you to be a chequebook for your daughter. I''m not really saying anything actually. I just want you to reflect on that statement.

I think that as parents it is part of our job to make decisions we think are in our children''s best interests. That does not mean that the decisions are popular or even what they want necessarily. In fact, you can do great harm by always giving a kid what they want.

So, what is best for your child in this instance? I certainly don''t know. Maybe it''s holding out for a relationship with her? Maybe it is funding the education as an act of love? I think this is what you have to figure out. I do know, without any doubt, that each child can benefit from unconditional love from a parent. To know that no matter what they do that parent will always love them. That love has no conditions at all. My advice would be to make sure your daughter knows you love her no matter what. Even if she treats you horribly, you still love her.

Good luck!

My ex promised to "help" support our daughters through university. He hasnt fulfilled his promise.

Most parents help their university children in some way or other - whether its providing accommodation during holiday time or providing food parcels or petrol in picking them up with all their stuff at holiday times.

My ex provides NOTHING.

Hi there

My son should go to uni next year (all being well) our CO states until end of first degree so CS should continue, but expect x to stop it ... But that''s another fight.

However, looking at it from your side, I do think that you should contribute but you should at least know the details of the course / that your dtr is attending the uni (as per any Finacial payment, there should be proof & monitoring).

I would go with that stance, if you are happy to .... I fully intend to support xxx but needs information regarding the course & cost to ensure I support xxx in the correct manor. No one can have their cake & eat it, paymtents but without any proof etc.

Just my opinion

JJx