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why wont she accept I have found love again

  • grafter
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18 Aug 12 #350331 by grafter
Topic started by grafter
Hi all my wife left me 16 months ago for a new man.
We had been married 20years and together 24.
I thought we had a woderfull marrige.with 3 wonderful kids.
Then In april last year she told me it was over.to my complete shoc and disbelief.a couple of months later she hooked up with her kuck boxer instructor.a horrible man.vy all accounts.
Anyway to cut a long story short,i had the worst year of my life.but in january this year I met a beautiful loving woman,and fell in love.we are now engaged,i never thought I would meet someone so wonderful but I have.my kids get on great with her,as I do hers.
The problem is my ex,shehas done some terrible things,to hurt me,our kids have been torn apart,.she is still with this other man and says she is very happy.apparently she was not happy with me for most if our marrige,wich is so untrue.
The problem is she tginks I still love her andcant get over her.she is causing problems now for me and my daughter who I love deeply.any advice please

  • happyagain
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18 Aug 12 #350346 by happyagain
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Grafter, it''s a control thing. My husband and his ex both agreed their marriage wasn''t working and separated amicably (so long as she got her own way);). But when he met me 8 months later, things kicked off. The contact he had been having with the kids was stopped or altered at the last minute, all of a sudden she became hostile and malicious. From my point of view, she was jealous. I think she had always thought they would get back together - maybe your ex wanted you single as a fallback plan. We constantly heard about how happy the ex was, but she clearly wasn''t as she was spending time writing such unpleasant letters to us and frustrating efforts to finalise the divorce.
I also think she was worried about the presence of another woman in her children''s life. She need not have worried, although she did cause many problems for us. I love my step kids but they are not mine, I have 2 of my own that I love above all else.
In time your ex will cool off. It will have massaged her ego to think of you as the grieving partner left behind and she needs time to come to terms with the results of her own actions.

  • Canuck425
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18 Aug 12 #350419 by Canuck425
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Let it go. I understand that it''s hard but you need to focus on you and your stuff.

Don''t try to guess what your ex is thinking or what her motivations are. What''s the point? Maybe she''s jealous or vindictive or crazy. Does it really matter?

Be the best man you can be. Hold your head up high. Be a good father. Have fun in your life and be grateful for what you have.

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