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my ex-husband won''t leave me alone

  • penuschka
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11 Oct 12 #360400 by penuschka
Topic started by penuschka
Hello there...

so I self represented, stood up for myself in court, came to an agreement with the barrister, so i kept our housing association flat, now transferred into my sole name. did not get any maintenance but was happy for the Clean Break divorce. however, he does not seem to realise it is all over.

ex-husband, having not spoken to me for three years, is now phoning me and my son wanting to come into the flat to pick up things - things that he cannot specify! i am happy to return any stuff he thinks is his. he just wants to get back into the flat, and i, for obvious reasons, do not want him in.

at what point can i issue a restraining order, or what redress do i have for this harassment. the divorce happpened because he went off with someone else, who he is still with.

thanks for any thoughts....

  • Bobbinalong
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11 Oct 12 #360403 by Bobbinalong
Reply from Bobbinalong
if you are divorced and you have a Consent Order signed etc as part of your decri absolut, he has no right to anything you have in your possession, and vice versa.
3 years, is he having a laugh?
I would just return a note saying he would have had the chance to get his belongings returned when you were getting divorced.

If you are not divorced, he needs to arrange with you specifically what he is requesting.
Bear in mind sols and courts not interested in anything under £500

  • .Charles
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11 Oct 12 #360411 by .Charles
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This happens more thank you might think. A party leaves to be with somebody else, the spurned party moves on with their life then the ex turns up wanting some attention.

Stand firm and if he contacts you again, ask him if his new partner is aware of his attempt to build new bridges.

It is important not to get angry or flustered when speaking to the ex. Tell him thanks but no thanks and as part of moving on you got rid of his old stuff years ago.

Keep a diary of harassment and if this continues go to the police station and make a report (get a crime number!) which you may seek to rely upon in the near future. The police take these things seriously and with any luck, they may send somebody around to warn the ex off.

If the ex persists, the police can take action themselves under the Protection from Harassment Act without any cost to you.

Charles

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12 Oct 12 #360623 by penuschka
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Thank you Charles, that is very clear and that is what I feel. My family feel he JUST wants to get his stuff, but there is more to it than that, I know and was married to him for over 20 years.
Not lose my temper is good, I didn''t manage it first time but will have to manage it now!
Penny

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12 Oct 12 #360637 by penuschka
Reply from penuschka
Thank you - this is what I feel but as I wrote to Charles below, my family think I am being unreasonable.
However I had to stand up to him in court and will have to do the same now.

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