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News from an old survivor

  • WinterFrost
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09 Nov 17 #497540 by WinterFrost
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It's been many months since I've been on here. I was suffering from terrible, debilitating depression and could'nt see any way out of my predicament. Now, I feel fine. The divorce was almost three years ago and although *she* still invades my dreams (,) sometimes, I am now over it. It took a long time. I have taken early retirement, have a little rescue doggy which I take on long walks and am generally content. I am relatively self sufficient and have no need of a new companion but realise that it would be good to have one. I am "only" 60 and have much to offer although my quirky sense of humour may not appeal to everyone. I hope my few words will give hope to those who are undergoing the separation/divorce process. It is hard now but it *will* work out, believe me. I have had a lot of help on this forum from some lovely people. Thank you, thank you xxx

  • Clawed
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10 Nov 17 #497549 by Clawed
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Great to hear a positive update, this sort of post gave me hope and kept me going in the early days. I wish you even more happiness in the future but your life sounds very nice as it is today, thanks for updating.

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10 Nov 17 #497553 by polar
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No amount of convincing that things would be OK would have made any difference at the start !!!!

It seems to be a wall that you cannot penetrate or climb over. So you have to find a way around it !!

What you find at the other side of that wall is really up to you.

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10 Nov 17 #497554 by WinterFrost
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polar wrote:

No amount of convincing that things would be OK would have made any difference at the start !!!!

It seems to be a wall that you cannot penetrate or climb over. So you have to find a way around it !!

What you find at the other side of that wall is really up to you.


Cheers mate. You gave me a heck of a lot of help! All the best.

  • itsbeenalongtime
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10 Nov 17 #497564 by itsbeenalongtime
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So pleased to hear this. I have worried about you many a time but to read this is so refreshing. Im nearly out the other side, still some hard stuff to get through but reading this has given me a whole lot of hope.
Keep up the great work. :)

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11 Nov 17 #497570 by elizadoolittle
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When I first started coming here about 5 years ago, I used to read about people who had found happiness after traumatic separations. I used to think it would never happen to me. I wanted to know HOW they did it. Sometimes I thought that maybe they didn't love their exes as much as I loved mine. Sometimes I thought that they must just be 'better' than me. More intelligent, resourceful etc. Or they had jobs (I had been a stay at home mum for 20 years and was convinced I was fit for the scrap heap).

Well, it's been 5 years, and I have received many more blows since the initial one. There is much that I miss and regret about my old life, but I have found peace (most of the time) with my new lot. And come to recognise the many benefits. I have even written a book about it in an attempt to help others to the same position. And I believe that - in a nutshell - one of the greatest ways to make progress is the realisation that if your ex wanted out of it then BY DEFINITION yours was not a good relationship, no matter how much you think you are made for one another. This gives plenty of food for thought and soul searching but it is very much worth it.

Good luck to all of you still struggling with the early days or years, and take heart from those of us who have been there. It does get better, especially if you take the trouble to examine the failure of the relationship and learn lessons from it.

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11 Nov 17 #497574 by Mitchum
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Glad to hear from you WF. It's good of you to post reassuring words for others going through the trauma of divorce.

Being part of this supportive community helps us to make a kind of sense out of what is happening in our lives as we move through the divorce process. The realisation that we are not alone with our fear is very comforting and to read of those who have come through it, gives hope to cling to that the pain will eventually subside.

Wishing you continued happiness. :)

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