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still sad and anxious

  • archileach123
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  • New Member
21 Dec 18 #505446 by archileach123
Topic started by archileach123
Hi- new here. Been two years after unwanted separation. Wife left me for my good friend. Have to share kids with them. MIssing being part of a whole family. Miss my old life--not happy-- dating someone but it doesn't replace what I had. don't know how to cope.

  • Vigorate
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07 Jan 19 #505575 by Vigorate
Reply from Vigorate
Take some time out from dating if it is not making you happy and focus on yourself.

  • Mitchum
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08 Jan 19 #505578 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
Wikis will tell you that coping with the sadness of divorce can’t be hurried or sidestepped. Recovery takes time and we're all different in the length of time till we feel 'normal' again - whatever that may be.

Keep in mind that you are grieving the loss of the family life you thought was secure and you can't simply 'get over it', you have to work at it. You also may need professional help if you feel no better now after two years, so a chat with the GP may be the way to go. I too experienced my ex leaving with my former friend and colleague and such betrayal is particularly difficult to deal with.

Give yourself permission to cry. Tears are therapeutic. Acknowledge the pain.
Often others say things like, ‘You’re not the first to get divorced and you won’t be the last’, ‘it happens’ and ‘pull yourself together’. They are trying to help, but only you know what is right for you. You can’t grieve to order. Be patient with yourself and take care of yourself physically and emotionally.

Remember grieving does end. Do the best you can in the meantime. Try new things, plan a break away. As you move through the healing, you get stronger and you can start moving on towards a new fulfilling life and eventual happiness.

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