We split up 3.5 years ago and have been divorced for a year. We agreed that I would do the divorce application to save costs. We went to mediation and agreed our split & that he would pay child maintenance. I left him to work out the child maintenance amount based on the calculator.
He is still extremely hung up on how I have 'shafted' him. All our finances were laid bare and income, expenditure, assets gone through. We agreed what was in and out.
At every opportunity for the last 4 years, he has ranted and raged over the unfairness of the split. He has in his head its 70/30 although the figures clearly show 54/46 even in the formal statement. (I had the 2 kids.)
There is no way even with the figures in front of him will he even believe otherwise. He thinks hes skint because I have made him skint. Although I would say that it is down to bad money management and poor decisions/choices, drink, going out, drugs.
He is convinced that he is handing money over to me rather than this is money which is his contributing to her upkeep. And that I am still out to fleece him and control him.
His anger, venom and aggressiveness is very real and wearing. He can talk civilly and then be easily triggered and go into a rant about the split. Its very adversarial and I just want to move on and have a calm life.
Does it ever stop??? what can I do to stop the cyclical rant.
For some people, no, it never does.They let bitterness destroy them.
what can I do to stop the cyclical rant.
Refuse to discuss it.
You don't say how old your kids are but remember this is a temporary stage where you need to keep in touch with each other. Before you know it the day will come where you never have to see each other unless you choose to.