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Christmas is coming........

  • JDM1982
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01 Dec 19 #510610 by JDM1982
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Christmas is 4 weeks away and I’m terrified. I’ve spent 16 Christmas days with my wife and this will be the first one that I haven’t and I’m absolutely terrified. I know I have to be strong, I have to make new memories etc but I will miss my wife on Christmas Day. I’m missing her now, I’m missing the joy of buying her gifts and looking forward to spending Christmas together. It’s been 9 months since she left and wow, this is like day one.
Everyone on here is going through the same shit and it brings us together, so let me say........ I wish everyone the strength to get through this, what is supposed to be a joyful time of year. Sincerely, god bless us all.

  • Siouxie
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16 Dec 19 #510745 by Siouxie
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Merry Christmas to you too, JDM1982. I am in a similar situation. 1st Christmas Day without husband or son for 19 years. I am 56. I send you hopes for strength too. I am still before the 1st Court Hearing that husband has ordered so right at the beginning really. It's so awful I just don't want to exist but that's not an option, so I will just have to be strong too. Siouxie x

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16 Dec 19 #510746 by JDM1982
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Hi Siouxie,

I totally understand your feeling of not wanting to exist. Christmas is purely a time for family and I feel your loss. It’s so strange not buying gifts to put under the tree, hoping that my wife likes them. Mind, there isn’t a tree this year. I don’t see the point on putting a tree up.
I always knew that the 1st of everything would be difficult, the first Christmas, birthday etc without my wife, so I have prepared myself the best I can but can you really prepare?
I sincerely feel for you, it’s hard not too when we are going through similar pain and emptiness.
I’m here to talk if you need me. Sometimes even a total stranger can bring some sort of comfort in dark times.
I’m just thinking there will be more christmas days ahead, hopefully ones without the pain and loss.
Do as best as you can Siouxie, there’s 1000’s in our situation this year, you are not alone x

  • shadymike9
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17 Dec 19 #510750 by shadymike9
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Stay Strong. I totally remember that first xmas without the family 4 xmases ago. It was like the world stops. And you think everyone is judging you as you spend xmas alone. You'll have o just realise that Negative is Normal. It's not how most'll choose to spend xmas but literally millions of people are in that same boat.

It'll only get better

  • JCV1968
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19 Dec 19 #510775 by JCV1968
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This is my second Christmas following divorce, my children are grown up and have there own lives. I found that it was very important to get a new hobby, to meet new people, who were not involved in the marriage or divorce, I personally took up running and got involved in parkrun, it wasn't long until I had new friends and an active (and very cheap) social life. I also met my new partner, something I hadn't even thought about until I met her. There is life after divorce. We just have to go out and grab it before it passes by. I hope you have a very good Christmas.

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