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Post divorce and lockdown

  • JDM1982
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4 months 3 weeks ago #512287 by JDM1982
Post divorce and lockdown was created by JDM1982
Hey guys and girls.......

I’m here to rant, to plead for advice, plead for someone to tell me it’s gunna get better from someone that really knows..

My absolute came the other day and it hit me like a brick. I knew it would land on my doorstep one day but all the mental prep didn’t work, it cut me deep. It’s been 14 months since my ex wife left me, in that time I foolishly got into a relationship and the girl took full advantage of me and my hard earned money. I paid for everything, bought her gifts, took her away etc........ I was a fool but I did it cause I craved the company and if I’m being honest I craved the intimacy/sex. That relationship ended 2 months ago and I’m back to feeling lonely and depressed. The lockdown is making things so much worse, I’m alone all the time, joined dating apps but no one can go on dates so that’s not much use. I feel cheated. I feel like I’m not ment to be in this situation, I did everything that’s expected, but back on the shelf at 38, feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus. Everyone keeps saying it’s gunna be alright and that I’m gunna end up happy but when? 14 months in darkness, how much more do I have to take? I understand there’s millions in my situation and worse, I’m sympathetic to each and every one of those people, I just need something to hold on to.

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  • Under60
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4 months 3 weeks ago #512288 by Under60
Replied by Under60 on topic Post divorce and lockdown
You are not going to like my view!
If you just want a woman for sex/intimacy it will never be a relationship.
You need to rebuild you first, work out where you went wrong (That will be what you said above).
Nobody wants to be used as just a body.
You need to go back to the start and change your view, understand that “The other body” has feelings, needs, trust, reassurance, love.
You can’t expect to “Buy” another person.

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  • JDM1982
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4 months 3 weeks ago #512289 by JDM1982
Replied by JDM1982 on topic Post divorce and lockdown
I don’t dislike your view, I appreciate your view/opinion. It’s possible that what I wrote came across in the wrong way, I’m not looking for just a body to use, I’ve never used a women in my life and I’m certainly not going to start now just to make me feel better. Your definitely right about having to rebuild and figuring out what went wrong but what went wrong in my marriage was that my wife totally changed into another person, I’m sure I did too but my valves and future goals didn’t, hers did. She got a highly paid job and wanted the high life to go with it. I didn’t fit in to that life. Anyway, I sincerely appreciate your reply, it gives me something to think about. Thank you.

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  • cerberus
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1 month 4 weeks ago #513533 by cerberus
Replied by cerberus on topic Post divorce and lockdown
It probably won't help - but there are always others worse off than you.. if it makes you feel any better - I'm going through a divorce just now (divorcing my wife due to her infidelity) and I have an 8 year old son - and it's been dragging on for 15 months!! (with NO end in sight) as she does everything possible to delay matters... I could only hope to be in YOUR position!.. right now, I'm in purgatory! LOL!!..

I'm sure when things get back to 'normal' the 'new normal' that life in general will settle down - you probably want to use this time to really focus on what you want to achieve - and then go for it! :)- best of luck!

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  • Buster007
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1 month 4 weeks ago #513537 by Buster007
Replied by Buster007 on topic Post divorce and lockdown
You'll probably not like my response either!!

Get some mates, male or even possible female, find what you really want in life, find yourself first. My best mate told me this a couple of years ago I thought he was a fool, turns out he was right!! Oh and remember you'll never get over loosing what you had, the sooner you accept you'll not get over it but you need to learn to live with it the better you will feel.

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