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  • Flower64
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12 Dec 21 #518349 by Flower64
Topic started by Flower64
I wanted to post this publicly and say a big thank you to this site - you've helped me immensely over the past few years. A special mention to Wyspecial, Charles and Hadenoughnow for giving me some valuable and specific advice.

I separated from my ex husband 3.5 years ago. He fought the divorce, the court awarded me my nisi, then absolute and an order for costs. I was then forced to apply to court to resolve finances. Throughout the process my ex refused to co-operate despite two penal notices, he ignored court orders, and the only reason I get child maintenance for our children (who he hasn't seen since he left) is because CMS take it directly from his wages. Right from the outset I was worried about this lengthy process taking all of my savings that I accrued once he wasn't around to spend all of my money! - but with the help from this site I represented myself with a local solicitor engaged to do all the contact with him such as letters offering to settle. At the last adjourned FDA the Judge directed that we go straight to final hearing on the basis of his non compliance. My final hearing was a few weeks ago.

My ex gave feeble excuses for his behaviour, pretended he'd filed documents and the court had lost them, pretended he hadn't seen any orders, didn't know about the hearings aside from this one, needed more time etc but the Judge gave him a serious lecture about the two years he wasted on this process which meant I was unable to re-mortgage therefore costing me more every month and wasting the courts very precious time.

He then suggested the fairest order given my ex still hadn't even so much as filed a form E - was to agree an order by consent giving me the house, with no payment to him for his "share" - I live in the house with our children and paid the deposit. We only lived there two years together. The judge also said that the £100k debt he's ran up since separation is his own, despite his request that it be treated as marital debt (on the basis that he had lost access to my income when we separated and therefore couldn't meet his outgoings), and agreed with my request for a Clean Break order.

So I left court with full ownership of our home, my pension and my savings all intact, and my ex left with the words of the judge ringing in his ears warning him that if he messes about with signing the TR1 we will be back in court, it will be reserved to him and my ex will be looking at a custodial sentence for being in contempt of court for the third time. Time will tell, as he's about to receive the paperwork from my solicitor so I shall see if signing it over goes smoothly!

This has been the most horrific process of my life, and my marriage damaged me beyond belief - to the point where I really do believe I will remain single for however many years I have left. But the process of divorcing him and resolving the finances to protect the children's home was made much easier by the people on this forum. Much cheaper as well - my eventual costs were less than £2k which I think is extremely good under the circs.

For those people struggling with non compliant exes in the court process - have faith - my judge really wasn't impressed and refused to allow him to get away with it in the end. There is light at the end of the tunnel This site is invaluable, and once again I thank you for your support, wisdom and advice :)

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12 Dec 21 #518351 by WYSPECIAL
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Thanks for the update and welcome to the other side.
You’ve come through it and can now get on with enjoying your home and family.

  • hadenoughnow
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13 Dec 21 #518357 by hadenoughnow
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Oh it is good to hear an outcome like this 😁. It gives real faith in the system and reinforces my view that judges are not to be messed with!!!

You should be so proud of yourself for getting through all the c***. I hope other people in a similar position will take heart from your story.

Now relax, enjoy your Christmas with your children in your home — and maybe pop back every now and again to see if sharing your experience can help anyone else 😊

🎄Hadenoughnow

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