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Christmas

  • gone1
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25 Oct 07 #5262 by gone1
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Not sure how many are going to be on your own during the festive season. I spent christmas day on my own last year and it was OK. My ex step kids never contacted me and I havent heard from them since. Have anyone on here lost there kids and have to spend xmas on there own? C

  • Shelia
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25 Oct 07 #5285 by Shelia
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Not sure how Christmas is going to work out for me but suspect I could be on my own, or at least on my own for some of it as my grown up kids try to spread themsleves thin between us and partners family, and neither live near me.

We should try and have a Christmas get together in the chat room. Maybe at 3pm at an alternative to the Quenns speech or something. I suspect there is going to be some sad Christmases among some of us as we remember better days. We need to keep each other strong.

I am feeling sad about it already. I am normaly at this time of year beginning to think about planning Christmas. I normaly did this for my family. This year I don't know what my role is.

Any views advice on how to handle the first Christmas after a split would be welcome.

Shelia

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26 Oct 07 #5297 by topaz
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:unsure:I am also wondering how to deal with xmas,especially as were living seperately but both still in marital home.I've so far got around the seperate meals issue by making lots of salad suppers for myself.I do need to lose weight as am "obese" at present, such an ugly word but true.I dont fancy salad for xmas dinner though!!My problem is I feel guilty preparing cooked meals and then he sits there eating soup or something.I know he's playing being a martyr but it's still so awkward.So any suggestions anybody on how to sort xmas dinner out,do I go out, although costs a fortune around here at xmas,cook myself a dinner or forget it and eat anything going.Also do I put up xmas decs or not?It would be so much easier to forget xmas this year and do nothing special but if the grand kids visit it would seem very bare here.So I have a deleamor.suggestions please.

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26 Oct 07 #5306 by ruby
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im also worried about xmas,only because though we recently moved home from a flat,i bought a large table and all my decors,premature i no.but i wanted this to be the best xmas yet,invited all the family,but my husband dumped me.so apart from all the obvious emotions im going through,im dreading xmas,as it will prob me my worst!its sad you spent it alone last year,i think the post from some one else about all talking should help,support others in same posistion.im fortunate as i will be with family and friends.but i think it only natural to be dreading the day,when i feel down i will just think next xmas will be better!

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26 Oct 07 #5308 by soulmanuk
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i used to work in a job that involved working xmas day, it invovled checking on the 'elderly' making sure they were ok. they are glad to see you (plenty of mince pies etc.)and it make you feel good that you have brought some happiness into there lives. maybe if you dont like the idea of being alone why not contact a charity like age concern and see if they need any help over the xmas period. it might not be an ideal solution but you wont be alone and it is quite enjoyable, the elderly are under estimated, they might need help preparing a meal or a bit of tidying up but at xmas it is just a chat and a brew,there bodies might be slow but there minds are not. another option why not ask if your local hospital needs any help on the childrens ward, think of the look on there faces when they open there presents, a lot of good causes are grateful for any help over the festive period it may help you get over the period where you are at a low

  • Louise11
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26 Oct 07 #5309 by Louise11
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Hi all,

Can I make a suggestion for all you who say you are going to be alone this Christmas and please hear me out to the end of this post before you all start groaning! lol

Volunteer!

My Christmas day will be spent by myself too or at least half of it, the kids will be off to their dads and my husband will be working.

How about volunteering at Age concern or a Youth hostel, or
so many of the other charities that so deperately need help at that time of the year???

There are so many places all needing help to cook and serve christmas lunch to many of the homeless, pensioners and kids that find themselves in these places year after year.
What better place to be than with others that are so much worse off than yourselves, it would make you all feel better and take your minds off all the foulness surrounding your lives right now.
Its an unbelievable feeling spending Christmas with people who are so desperately in need of company and a friendly face.
I worked for Age Concern few years ago and I for one love to hear the tales and stories of by gone years, makes mine feel pathetic, you can even take your kids, old folks love to see Children singing, dancing and playing. Sometimes in our town the kids get together and put on shows, be it dance, drama or singing, everyone loves it and it also reminds everyone what Christmas should be about.
So forget the moping around, wondering why me? Why am I alone? There are thousands of us out there all for different reasons why we will be alone, make someones Christmas extra special this year, who knows where it might take you.
One thing I can guarantee, your life will seem a whole lot better if you do!

Kind ones
Louise xx

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26 Oct 07 #5311 by gone1
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TDLK1452 wrote:

:unsure:I am also wondering how to deal with xmas,especially as were living seperately but both still in marital home.I've so far got around the seperate meals issue by making lots of salad suppers for myself.I do need to lose weight as am "obese" at present, such an ugly word but true.I dont fancy salad for xmas dinner though!!My problem is I feel guilty preparing cooked meals and then he sits there eating soup or something.I know he's playing being a martyr but it's still so awkward.So any suggestions anybody on how to sort xmas dinner out,do I go out, although costs a fortune around here at xmas,cook myself a dinner or forget it and eat anything going.Also do I put up xmas decs or not?It would be so much easier to forget xmas this year and do nothing special but if the grand kids visit it would seem very bare here.So I have a deleamor.suggestions please.


When I lived in my FMH and she moved her BF in I lived in squaler. They used to cook and I would cook my meals afterwards and I know what thats like. Last christmas I had a ready meal for xmas lunch but it was from marks and sparx so it was special. I asked my sister about xmas day as she had spent many of those on her own. She told me its just one day and to split it up into segments. This I did and it worked out fine. I did all the things a family wouldnt do and it worked out just fine. Dont forget you are not alone at xmas time. There are plenty of people that have lost love ones and family. It is a family day and if you dont have one then it cant be can it? Chris.

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