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Loneliness

  • Nanu
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06 Oct 08 #53940 by Nanu
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Loneliness
Oh yes I have felt it too, many times especially on weekends.
My husband is happy with his new lover while I am still alone.
I have been on a couple of dates but soon realised that I am not really ready to get involved with a man or maybe I should say I haven't met anybody who felt right.

At the moment my life is very busy with a full time job,my art career and my studies at OU.
It keeps me occupied and keeps me from falling into a depression.
Still the feeling of loneliness sneaks up on me from time to time.

  • Never Again
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06 Oct 08 #53945 by Never Again
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I think there must be something wrong with me. Am the respondent in divorce and after 18 months have not even had the Decree Nisi although it does finally appear to be moving forward.

Have been separated from soon to be ex-wife for almost 2 years and I have absolutely NO yearning whatsoever to have a new relationship. The thought of it leaves me cold. My marriage was so bad and the separation and divorce so far so acrimonious that I would rather put needles in to my eyes than do it ever again.

Even the thought of co-habitation gives me the shivers. I hope I won't always be like this. Sure, often i get very lonely especially at night but I work long hours 6 days a week and have joined a gym and go swimming to keep busy.

I want to get this divorce done and dusted and miles down the road behind me before i even think about another woman in my life.

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06 Oct 08 #53958 by Sun 13
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Nothing wrong with that never, in fact I think it's important that we learn to enjoy our own company and become happy with who we are again, after the beating that our self worth takes at times like these.

And there's nothing wrong with it taking any amount of time, or not wanting to be with anyone again, There is no right or wrong here, just how it feels to each of us individually

  • hawaythelads
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06 Oct 08 #53990 by hawaythelads
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I can totally empathise with your feeling of loneliness.
I left the marriage two years ago.
I see my kids every other weekend and Tuesday nights every week.My Dad week don't have time to feel lonely.They keep me busy and are good company.The 70% of the time I'm not with them you do spend a lot of time on your own.
I arrange the odd night out with friends or go to the gym.
My whole adult life I had a partner from sixteen until 36 and was always living with someone.However,i think that the most invaluable thing you can do is to try and give yourself time to know yourself alone.Sometimes when I go out I think Jesus I'm 15 years too late to this party.
I know it's the old adage but give it time and you will get used to this new lifestyle once your happy in yourself that's normally the time when you start to attract other people if that's what you want.
Only drink in company mate and remember ultimately it is a depressant so can bring you down.Everything in moderation.I know it's a cliche but very true.
all the best
Pete xxx

  • marriaa
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06 Oct 08 #53991 by marriaa
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hi never,
the fact that things have taken so long for you to get out of an unhappy marriage has left you with a bitter taste in your mouth.Hopefully when things are sorted out you will feel different.
The best way to start is having as many friends as possible ,even virtual one .Do not even think about a new relationship ,just let nature takes it course but be among peeps you like and are comfortable with.You need to create the right environment for any thing to happen.
A few months ago I said "never again",now "may be" ,but I am sure this will change to "very possible" and who knows one day
it might be "defenitely".
In the mean time I am rediscovering myself and being silly without offending anyone and learn as I go along and having a nice time.
Join us in chat and start from there.
take care

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06 Oct 08 #54010 by Never Again
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Thanks for the messages above. I have only seen my children twice in 12 months as the soon-to-be ex moved them the other side of the world and I felt dreadful during that time. I had no contact at all with them for 6 months - did not even know where they were!

I just have no inclination at all to form a new relationship and where the opportunity has arisen I have backed away quite quickly.

The divorce is taking an interminably long time and I feel my soon to be ex-wife's behaviour over the children has been so bad it has made me extremely wary of ever trusting anyone again.

I never wanted my marriage to end. It wasn't me who walked. It was totally a shock to me. Ok - so I got turned over this time and lost my kids but I won't let anyone ever do that again to me.

  • Marshy_
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07 Oct 08 #54431 by Marshy_
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Crikey. 42!! I am 53 and have a great life(ish). Things are generaly better on the single scene then the married scene. I dont mix with marrieds now as the women generaly think you are preditary and the blokes want to be like you lol.

Its a great life by and large. But you need freinds. Esp single versions. The single comunity is massive and growing by the day. I was realy worried when I left my ex and thought I would be stuck in all the time. But it hasnt been like that at all. I strugle now to do my washing, ironing and cleaning at the weekend. I just dont have much time lol. I bosh it out in a day and working towards getting it done in a morning. And I am 53!!Imagine what it will be like for you? You will be fine. Dont rush to replace your ex. That is a massive mistake. Find your feet 1st. Have a good time. And when a women drifts into yr life then you will be a well sorted person. Good ones. C

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