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considering divorce :(

  • steveling
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19 Nov 07 #6997 by steveling
Topic started by steveling
please bear with me on this , as its still very raw to me , on saturday 17th november i was kicked out of the family home.
she let me know that our marriage was over whilst i was at work and by text message . needless to say i was/still am devastated .
we have 3 lovely little girls , the eldest is 6 years old and its crushing her the other 2 are still to young to understand whats going on.
i am still living in hjope that she will have a change of mind but im sure deep down i know its finished for good.
how long does it take for the pain and sorrow to pass , as every day i feel like crying my eyes out. sorry to ramble on , any help and tips would be appreciated. :)

  • Specialdad
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19 Nov 07 #7007 by Specialdad
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Sorry to hear the above.

But unless you have been kicking the s..t out of her, she cant just kick you out. Get a home residence order if she doesnt let back into the house and go back to the house and stay put till the divorce is settled.

If the marriage is over fair enough but the kids shouldnt have to suffer because of it.

B)

  • Canary
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19 Nov 07 #7013 by Canary
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I moved out of the FMH, but in a planned way, although probably should have stayed put until we had agreed things, but there was a lot of tension and arguments, which we both wanted to avoid for the kids sake. However that may not have been the best thing for the long run.

I think the general advice is to stay put otherwise things get sorted very slowly - we are still haggling over how often I can see kids. Officially it is 'whenever you want', but in practice it is more difficult.
Once you are out there is no incentive for x2b to discuss anything or move the process along, it indeed it is finished.

  • steveling
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19 Nov 07 #7020 by steveling
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thanks people , i didnt realise i could have stayed there . im living at my mums right now and its very cramped , its a very long and complicated story so if i shorten i down a bit it would go something like this.
me and my father in law never got on and basically he gave my wife and choice its youre husband or youre dad you choose, she chose me and he said to never contact him again , emotional blackmail that i thought was very unfair but we got on with our lives until this year when her grandad passed away and she was very close , now the only family she had left was her dad, so in the end she wanted her back again so she gave me the boot

  • loobyloo
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19 Nov 07 #7024 by loobyloo
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hi steve
sorry bout your prediciment but take the advice given... I amthe female with the kids and i left house cos he refused and hes changed locks t=etc messy buissiness esp when its so fresh to you your emotions can take over.
as for choice between you or her dad...well.. pretty pathetc excuse and what kind of father is that... as sadie said unless you done something real bad think you have bargaining power
looby

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19 Nov 07 #7026 by steveling
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thanks loobyloo , i can tell her that im allowed to stay but im sure she will say i dont want you here , you can see the kids on tuesdays and sundays,if i was just to move back in she would probaly dump all my stuff out in the front yard ! i havent laid a finger on her in the 7 years we have been together , apart from playfighting !
we are hoping to carry on as good friends and we have made arrangments over x-mas i can come down each day then return to my mums in the evening as the council are paying her rent and they wont let anyone stay ( apparently) over night. i dont want to rock the boat more than i have to as its good to be on friendly terms. and as for her dad he is pathetic and a real nasty peice of work.

  • Camberwick green
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19 Nov 07 #7039 by Camberwick green
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Just to put one thing straight, she is still classed as a single parent even if she had someone to stay over (whether that be you or a BF) for up to 3 nights and its not classed as living in, what she is telling you is BS, she may not know her rights but I am telling you exactly how it is.

Good luck x

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