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Do you need to find somebody else?

  • Altafica
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23 Nov 07 #7465 by Altafica
Topic started by Altafica
Hi
Im quite new to the boards so be gental! I am now divorced (Aug) after 28yrs, im 50yrs old F. Ok now you have the background :P
Everybody has different reasons for divorcing, and coping, but very often the question comes up of "How/when/where will I meet somebody else" Do you feel slightly "pressure" into meeting somebody, by friends family or even kids? I have found people saying to me "never mind you will find somebody else" maybe I dont want somebody else, well it would have to be on my terms.
My mother, bless her, is a silver surfer, and I keep getting emails from her entitled "what about this one"!, she logs on to dating sites and looks for suitable men for me !! Trouble is they all look like my ex :blink:

  • moonstar04
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23 Nov 07 #7468 by moonstar04
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Interestinly friends of mine who now have other partners have gone for similar looks and attributes as thier previous spouses!!!

Guess we all have a check list of what we are looking for in a partner. So futire partners may have the same things in common.

I am not in a relationship at the moment, but I know I am not good at being alone. I need people round me I hate being alone. My divorce just fetches to the fore the fact that there are going to be many occasions in the future where I will be alone.

So I guess the answer for me is yes I do need to find someone else to share my life with. After living with someone for over 17 years I do not want to think about being alone. x

  • loobyloo
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23 Nov 07 #7482 by loobyloo
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Hey we all need someone to love and to love us.
I know we all bit raw and have been/ are going through hell because of x partners ... but none of us got married thinking it would end and end so bitterly for some,... DID we??

  • Fiona
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23 Nov 07 #7488 by Fiona
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I think life would be very boring if we all did the same thing. It's nine years since our marriage broke down after a relationship of 22 years and I actually quite like being single. I'm a bit of a workaholic, commute to continental Europe once or twice a week and usually have house guests either arriving or leaving so my life is pretty full.

Although I would never say never, I'm not sure I can make the compromises needed to make a relationship work again and it seems unfair to expect someone else to fit around my lifestyle. Perhaps a 'being together, living apart' relationship might work but the whole thing is a bit scary because emotionally I don't think I could survive another relationship breakup and it's easier just being friends.

  • mike62
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23 Nov 07 #7490 by mike62
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Although not yet divorced, the whole process of separation and all the acrimony, deceit, distrust and nastiness :evil:it has brought since last January has led me to the conclusion that I simply don't want to go through all of this hurt again :(. Maybe one day I will feel differently. Right now, some fickle sexual activity seems an attractive concept :woohoo:, but another relationship with all the emotional ties? :ohmy:Not flipping likely! I feel like I have an entire arrivals hall full of baggage, and simply don't want to even contemplate anything else right now. :unsure:

Never say never....
;)

Mike

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23 Nov 07 #7491 by Specialdad
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Hey looby that just got me thinking as usual.

If love is the operative word in a relationship guess what the opposite of love is? Thats right Hate.

Therefore if love equals wanting someone hate equals not wanting someone.

So in my upside down world I would advice you to not to try and find someone who says they love you as they will also hate you one day !! B)

  • Fiona
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23 Nov 07 #7492 by Fiona
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LOL - I think the oppposite of love is indifference.

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