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Affairs etc

  • freshbutterfly
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01 May 09 #112413 by freshbutterfly
Topic started by freshbutterfly
I don't know if I'm in the right area, but after discovering my stbx affair (today after many denials) is it normal to ask about the other woman, he thinks it's nothing to do with me and says it's none of my business, but I'm just curious but strangely not angry as I have filed divorce petition recently - perhaps I'm an exception to the rule!:S

  • Maysie01
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02 May 09 #112807 by Maysie01
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My stbx is living with another woman now. For myself, his relationship with her is nothing to do with me as I left stbx due to his abuse towards me and the children, and having had enough of living daily in fear of him. The woman was not the cause of the split, the split was my decision so I guess that is why his relationship with his woman doesn't worry me. Was the split your decision? If so, then the ow is really irrelevant. Hard though it is, your marriage is over and whatever new relationships you both begin are the concern of each other only in as far as they affect your children if you have any. Sounds like you are far from over him though so tons of sympathy.

  • Angel557
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02 May 09 #112808 by Angel557
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I split with my ex my decision he got with a new partner on the re bound after 8 days i then met someone pretty quick.Ex went on to marry the woman he is now divorcing yup i wanna know about her and i think it's because i can say to myself well you see how much better i was than her yet you messed our marriage up.

  • AliPat
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02 May 09 #112811 by AliPat
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I sometimees wish I didn't know anything about stbx OW, but seeing as she was my best friend for 10 years, I probably know more about her than he does!!

  • goingforward
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02 May 09 #112819 by goingforward
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Yes its normal
i found out about the OW and she is totally opposite me, so much so that I know they have absolutely nothing in common which makes me feel better.
i did at first feel I must be useless to be rejected but now I feel it serves him right cos the longer they are together then the more the gaps will show and the more exhausting it is for him to try and keep her happy at the expense of putting his own children second.
And as people have pointed out hes in the wrong and he has no support, Ive done nothing wrong and Im making friends and not living a lie.
i made it my business to find out to avoid imagining someone perfect, now I know she is far from it.
good luck
GF

  • freshbutterfly
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02 May 09 #112845 by freshbutterfly
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Thanks for your comments, gf I think your situation is very similiar, I know that it was his choice to stray despite him saying you made me do it! I have also made friends, have a good family and not living a lie. He was living in a bubble now its ready to burst and he has come down with a fresh dose of reality, have now started the divorce proceedings and looking back now realise what a miserable life I was leading, will be happy to get him out of the house and start my real life!

  • flick5
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06 May 09 #113897 by flick5
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Hi GF.

Exactly,exactly,exactly!! Just picked this thread up. This is exactly where I feel both myself and my daughters are at the moment! You couldn't have described it better.

I'll refer back to this next time I'm having a really bad day. Should snap me out of it! Thankyou.

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